Living Metaphysically, Accepting Love

From A Course in Miracles (ACIM):

• Do I want the problem or do I want the answer?
• …ask and you will receive.
• …you believe asking is taking…
• Ask to learn of the reality of your brother (Christ, Love), because this is what you will perceive in him, and you will see your beauty reflected in his.

This morning, as I reflected on the above, I started by asking Jesus what should I ask for. I felt anger at Jesus. I poured out my stuff. Then, I began to ask for what the ACIM Text (in several places) suggested I might ask for. I knew I was just parroting what the Text said to ask for; it wasn’t really from the depth of my being. I parroted because maybe that would keep me safe and I would “get” what was promised; even though I didn’t really want it or believe in it. Then, I pondered the world of takers and how I also am a taker. I pondered how I believe I need to take to survive and, living in fear, I hate “them” who take from me causing me to take from “them.” I prayed some more to Jesus. I wanted to get in touch with my fear of God. I began to list out my special hate relationships: specific people, groups of people. Eventually, the realization hit me: God is my Source; but I hate God because I believe I have to take from God in order to stay alive. Wow…wow…wow!

Now I could ask Jesus for help with something from my heart: I want to know my Source is pure love freely given and I want to freely love both back to Source and outward.

I did not yet know who the next president of the US is. I don’t myself vote. I hadn’t listened to the news last night. But, my time for prayer was over and it was time to turn on NPR and get the news. I turned on the radio and out came a symphony. For some reason, KCUR was not on the air. I listened to the symphony and started to chuckle. The Holy Spirit was helping me. I wasn’t quite ready for the news.

As I listened, I realized that “the real world of God/Source” is this symphony. I appreciated the symphony. The symphony is always there, but we cover it over and dissociate from it. The symphony is God’s reality, Heaven, not the ego world I normally experience. I can live in the symphonic reality, which is my ever present Source of Love, freely given because I/we are loved. I went to the bathroom and took a huge dump. All my crap came out.

Then, suddenly KCUR came on the air introducing the next president and immediately fed in Barak Obama’s acceptance. I got chills. I got tears. I said, “Praise the Lord. The era of the old white man is over.” “The old white man” is a symbol. For me, “the old white man” was my terrible father who hated women, the oppressor, the taker, MY EGO'S god. This era being over symbolized the healing of my hate and my acceptance of Love, God, Heaven.

Since I don’t vote, I realized that it was my brother who had thrown out the old white man. This morning, I had asked to know my brother. The prayer was immediately answered by my brother electing Obama, a symbol of unity and love. Within every brother is Source and Love. Within me is Source and Love. My brother had clearly shown me who he was. I had trusted my brother to show me who he was. We are one and this has been shown.

This reflection is how I live metaphysically: I take my own inventory of fear and hate. I give the hate and fear to Jesus. Then I honestly pray for the true. Then I am healed and everyone else is healed.