I have been quiet here for only a couple of days. I sometimes think that any words I say are my ego talking. I am not talking about arrogance or pride; but the tiny mad idea that wanted God to treat it special. Since God doesn't treat anyone special, the tiny mad idea left God and created this ego world. The tiny mad idea got the power to do this because one day, the Son of God (all of us before we separated from God) remembered not to laugh at it. Pay attention, remembering not to laugh is different than forgetting to laugh. The tiny mad idea is symbolized by the serpent in the garden of Eden. But the ending of the story is not that God kicked us out of heaven; but that having attained an ego consciousness, we left heaven seeking the specialness not of God. The tiny mad idea became afraid of God and hid itself in this ego world.
I really should be quiet. None of this opinion is worth a hill of beans.
From ACIM:
- ...accept only loving thoughts...
- ...raise love to clear-cut unequivocal predominance...
- ...fear's only purpose...to conceal love..
This morning, I got up at 4, did my prayer and meditation, got in the car at 5:30 to drive to the city, began a 3 hour run at 6:30, changed clothes in the car and tried to decide what to do. Instead of going to the fellowship, I went to Mass.
I have no idea why I ever go to the parish for Mass. I like the music, but the sermons seem to always be about money or politics. Today, after listening to a really long pre-Mass plea for money, I really considered leaving. I looked around for my God-mother; but low and behold, right behind me was someone else I knew. Now I was stuck. I suffered through a bunch of other time wasters like sending the kids out, sending the catechumins out, baptisms and a sermon on stewardship before I remembered that I had a card in my pocket with the above ACIM stuff written on it. I pulled it out and remembered to accept only loving thoughts.
I remembered that love was being concealed in my mind right before my eyes. "Right before my eyes" means literally, love was concealed in my mind, not out there. It is possible that the only reason I went to church was to see what my ego would say about it so that I could talk to Jesus and do something different with my mind. I was saved from continuing to be unconscious of my practice of concealing love from myself and everyone else.
After that, I shut my eyes and envisioned light. Light is all there really is. Light is love and light is Heaven and light is peace. Light is my responsibility.
Fear is the tiny mad idea. It works furiously to conceal love; and for the most part we let it, becoming unconscious of the whole process. We can instead remember to laugh. We can instead remember to deny power to the tiny mad idea, remember all power is of God, and remember this for everyone around us. "Thus does the Holy Spirit replace fear with love..." Laughing at the tiny mad idea is done consciously when I accept only loving thoughts.
Accepting only loving thoughts means I am no longer in a fight with God for specialness; and in silence, I slip back into Heaven.
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