This morning, I decided to run at 4:30. It was a full moon; windy but pretty warm. Other than the paper thrower, I saw no dogs or skunks or even the man with the 8 huge dogs. No matter where I've ever lived, there is always a faithful paper thrower sharing my early morning solitude.
"...He loves you, He will gladly teach you...He cannot let you forget your worth."
How many times have I heard, "God loves you;" and had no belief or connection to that reality. But for some reason this morning, the words "He will gladly teach you" struck home. I opened up to the possibility that I really am loved, valuable to God and The Holy Spirit does want to teach me: GLADLY. I have always thought I needed to surreptitiously steal either love or teaching; that no one would ever WANT to help me in any way. There is a Gospel story about a man who was kicked out of the wedding banquet because he didn't have the right garmet. I've always believed God would some day notice that there was something wrong with me and kick me out.
But this morning, I allowed the thoughts to sink in and become believable: He gladly teaches me. He loves me. If I accept this truth, then I have accepted Atonement for myself. I've accepted a loving Father who would never hold my errors against me, only teach me how to love.
I went on to read, "The only thing of value in it (the ego world) is whatever part of it you look upon with love." My mind immediately flashed to the person at work I usually hate the most; except I was loving him. I saw that I looked beyond whatever mistakes he was making and saw the love in his heart. I thought of all the people at work and loved them all. What a great gift. What a great moment.
I am here at work. I'm usually the only one here this early. One of my co-workers has come in early. When someone walks down the hall, I don't look up, but often give a sly glance out of the corner of my eye. My co-worker just caught me doing that and teased me about it! Kind of fun, huh? Another co-worker asked me to be in his Linkedln network. I sent him an e-mail teasing him because he said he trusted me. He replied, "Very much."