National Captal Marathon - Report

The boarding passes are printed. Spirit Flower will soon be going back to her little corner of the planet.

My Course in Miracles lesson for the day was: I rest in God, and I am as God created me. The rest in God bit is common to all religions. What I am is uniquely defined by A Course in Miracles. These two ideas were in my mind as I ran today.

There is nothing so wonderful as the tremendously achy feeling of post marathon legs.

Believe it or not, I booked my trip to Canada at the end of last year and the hotel in January. I feared that if I did not book the ticket and pay the money, I’d chicken out on coming to NCM. JoJo (an internet friend from runningmania) and I had been discussing what race it might be good for me to come to; and she wouldn’t let me come to ATB as it is always rotten weather.

So then, the task was to maintain my marathon fitness and not be stupid (hence incurring an injury). I ran 3 and 4 hour runs each weekend all winter, sometimes in crazy locations as I sought secure footing. Little old ladies ought not risk falling down to much. (LOL). I chaffed at the bit wanting to race but refraining under the “don’t be stupid” rule. Finally in March, I couldn’t pass up my dream race (80 miles in 20 hours); and seemed to come through that ok. Then, I guess I hit an impossibly stupid thing: the Olathe marathon. It was only 3 weeks after the 80 mile race and I shouldn’t have “raced” anything (but go read that report for further information). After Olathe, I had a tender Achilles and I have been babying it for the past 6 weeks.

After my 3 and 4 hour runs last weekend, I was sure of my condition (as any addict enabling themselves can be) and approved myself for running NCM, but going for a 4:40 or worse. My trip to Canada has been wonderful and JoJo is a great hostess and I’ve been thrilled to meet the runningmaniacs I’ve been following for the past 2 years. Ottawa is beautiful. Watching the Trifecta was great. I’ve never seen such a well managed event as far as crowds go. I loved watching the world class women in the 10k.

JoJo got me at the airport. I spotted her flirting with cute soldiers (really JoJo, maybe you should do the Army run and get a soldierly hug at the finish). First on Saturday, we went to Tim Horton’s and then JoJo’s parents. We went to Bruce pit with C-Moss and met Andy on Saturday morning. Andy gave me an orange buff. JoJo put on my tattoos. We went to the expo and met Turd (Mike) on Saturday (I needed to meet someone whose internet handle is Turd Ferguson). After tons of walking as we watched the races, my weak foot was complaining. I was up at 4:30, had my coffee and spiritual study and bm. I walked down to my corral at 6:40. I asked someone to take my picture with my bb; so I have a before and after.

The start was terribly polite. The green corral was half empty. Everyone had plenty of room and even the bunnies were not creating problems. So, I just started at an easy pace. At 5k and 10k, I was on a 5.5 mph pace and that seemed fine with me. I didn’t really look around at the scenery much but was impressed that so many people came out to cheer all along the course. I was so surprised the first time someone said, “Go Laura.” She told me my name was on my number (dummy). That was cool! The aid station near the half was fabulous with the men in dresses, and some guy who really could dance! I got into at porta-pottie without waiting at 17k (bonus points).

Finally, I saw some maniacs with hula girl. Their cheering brought tears to my eyes. After that, I started trying to decide when to turn on the afterburners. My Achilles was “not too bad” (which is usually an understatement for a runner), my energy level was great and I knew I wanted to put some effort into the race. I began to speed up. At 30k, I approved my self to fire the jets (hence the negative split). Surprisingly, when I go into high gear, I also go into meditative state and become something of a running machine powering ahead and mostly looking only at the road in front of me. Having the half marathoners join the course at the end disrupted my speeding as I started having to dodge them.

But I was starting to feel the race in my legs and knew I was achieving my happiness (I love that feeling). I kept “racing”, saw hula girl again and swerved to get a low five. I was soon into the crowds lining the final k. I’ve never been through anything like that before. Wow! Swell! Bosso, coolo, neato!

Finished: turns out chip time matched my watch (4:31). The medal is so pretty and I love the spinney thing. Worth the expense of the trip. I had my bb with me so I asked someone to take my picture.

Then I basically hobbled back to the hotel to clean up and go to the M&G. It was great to meet more runningmaniacs. After a marathon, I usually get to a prone position as soon as possible, so it was outrageous to spend 2 hours shouting at people you just met. I am exhausted.

After a nap, I’ll still swear the Achilles is “not too bad.”

National Captal Marathon - 1

I arrived yesterday in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. United Airlines did an excellent job of delivering me and my luggage. For some reason, all crowds and lines disappeared before me and I breezed along. I almost cried when the customs agent asked what my business was and I proudly answered, “National marathon.” Even now I feel the tears inside. Ottawa is very beautiful and my hostess (one runningmaniac named JoJo) is superb.

From A Course in Miracles this morning, I pondered this: “Beyond the poor attraction of the special love relationship, and always obscured by it, is the powerful attraction of the Father for His Son. There is no other love that can satisfy you, because there is no other love. This is the only love that is fully given and fully returned. Being complete, it asks nothing.”

There is much in ACIM about the ego and its special relationships which distracts me from the one real relationship, that with God. It takes an act of will to stop my ego activities and remember God. However, one I make the decision and set aside the space, God comes and I am aware of Him. It is for this awareness that live.

Simple Presence

It is enough to simply sit in awareness of The Presence. I don't need to ask anything or expect anything or call it anything. I am willing to accept The Presence and enjoy simple awareness.

"Let me be still and listen to the Truth."

Update:
I might go to Germany again in September: perfect timing for the Cologne Marathon. I'm thinking I will try to learn some German this summer.
I am going to Canada tomorrow: to run in the National Capital Marathon and meet tons of Running Maniacs.
I just had a printer emergency: no ink. So I ran up to Office Max a couple of blocks away. For some reason, they were giving out $10 gift cards if you spent $40. No problema, ink is expensive, so I liked $10 off.
Yesterday, I bought a bosso coolo belt to go with the Ultra belt buckle I got at my 80 mile race. I bought it at the Harley Davidson dealer; many years since I've been in one of those places. They had moved and now reside in an old Lexus dealership.
I love being a runner. My goal this weekend is to finish without any injury. I won't be in a hurry.

Another Long Run

Today I jog/walked 20 miles in 4:18. My shoulders are sunburned!

There is a running blog called Monumental effort. The title speaks of greatness. The Japanese running monk speaks of holiness. Who am I? Just a girl.

From A Course in Miracles, (ACIM) this morning I read (15.IV.4): "Would you learn how perfect and immaculate is the holy altar (us, the Son of God) on which your Father has placed Himself? This you will recognize in the holy instant, in which you willingly and gladly give over every plan but His."

As I was meditating, I watched plan after plan jump into my mind; and I let them go. As I was running, I thought about the many people who want to know God. Many people say they want my spirituality but I see that they are not willing to focus and spend time on the endeavor. In general, these people don’t have any plans for knowing God, so their saying they wish they knew God is just idle chatter. Most of the church goers don’t know God. Well, I admit that I no longer think church really has much to do with God at all.

Out running, I was again marveling at my new realization of my job here on earth. All I need do is stop thinking my thoughts and hold in my mind a thought of God. And, having practiced that for a little while, I’m getting better at it. But I am relieved most because I have let go of all expectations regarding spiritual achievement. I had read so many books by so called illuminated people, religious authorities and various eastern gurus. But I haven’t achieved the euphoria, I haven’t written a book and my house is not full of disciples. I have nothing wise to say.

But I am a Course student. Inner peace is my goal. This world is an illusion and the books of the gurus are just part of the illusion. Yet if I hold a thought of God in my mind, I am transcended and I have stopped perpetuating the illusion. The end of the illusion means peace is the reality; and that is all I’m doing here.

I am at peace with this idea because it sets me free. I’ve wanted to know God since I was 22! I don’t think God meant to be difficult. I think we humans trained ourselves to think that. If I sit in church, I’ll be taught to wait until the next life or some other worldly reason for why I don’t know God.

But when I changed the curriculum, I had success. I was taught that God was already here, I just had to let go of my ego toys. Simple right? Well, yes and no.

So, I am a runner. I spent a lot of time on my run realizing that I just love my weekend long runs. I love the endless hours in either freezing cold or sweltering hot. I love the endless hours of repeating my God thought over and over, with no other agenda. Training for speed in order to race fast seems to have slipped off my radar. So, I don’t know any more why I would sign up for a race, except to complete a measured distance and have someone else provide the drinks. I like ultra races because I can go farther than I normally would on my own.

So anyway, that’s where I’m at.

Solitary Running

Ever noticed how I keep returning to the topic of solitude? Yes, I am trying to explain it to myself.

Thoughts about solitude while I ran this morning: I find solitude so misunderstood; and so indefensible. In spiritual practice, silence, my mind goes beyond the boundary of tumultuous thoughts laid out by my ego nature. Beyond this layer, all is silent. There is nothing there for the ego to grasp, so utter peace does not seem desirable. But I go there over and over when I am meditating. It is my primary practice. I simply hold in my mind the daily lesson from A Course in Miracles and rest in the Presence it brings to my mind. Nothing need be done and nothing need be accomplished. Victory is to keep only that one thought in the mind. When I am out running, I think about that place of silent peace and also use the daily thought as a mantra. That is it. That is all. Nothing more need be said or explained.

Well, I need to add that I did understand something for myself today. Since I visit this place beyond the ego, I am starting to think of it as my home, my origin. So when I enter ordinary life and relate to others, I am coming from the other side, a different reality; while most of those I relate to have never been to the other side. This explains why I don’t understand everyday worldly doings so much anymore and don't participate. I come from the other side, never really come fully into this world, and then return to the other side.

The thing my ego can’t stand is that there is no advantage to this shift in home base. In fact, it is a detriment for the time I am in society; because I’m not playing the system to the best of my advantage. I don’t look good. I take flak from colleagues who eat meat and are out of shape. Yet, then they turn around and appreciate my peaceful approach to our sometimes stressful work.

Yesterday evening, not getting started until 7:30, I walked on the treadmill for 45 min and rode my ex-bike for 45 min. This morning, feeling no pain, I decided to do an easy run; even though I have a marathon in a week. I jog/walked at ultra pace for 15.5 miles. It was very wonderful as this is the first really warm day we've had this year. I jogged along the levy which is flat, gravel and windy. Despite no trees, the wind helps alot with drying the sweat. I drank about 40 oz of sports drink, but still lost a pound or two. I saw something new: small birds have built mud nests on the underside of a freeway overpass.

Afterwards, while eating, I put together this wish list of 2010 Ultras:
7/23: http://www.lunartrekrun.com/home
9/18: http://www.katy50.com
10/16: http://www.stpats24hour.com/
10/31: http://www.bsrun.com

The 10/16 dream is most likely to be cancelled due to a potential trip to Germany, but we'll see. I realized this morning that running fast marathons really really does cause injuries for me. I'd rather not have an impressive marathon time and still go for a long run the next weekend. I dream of endless hours of mindless running or even working out in my apartment.

Now, I will quietly go about an easy weight lifting and core session while I listen to NPR. then maybe go get some groceries.

Silent Running

This morning I read from the Course in Miracles text (15.III): "Be not content with littleness. But be sure you understand what littleness is, and why you could never be content with it. Littleness is the offering you give yourself. You offer this in place of magnitude, and you accept it. Everything in this world is little because it is a world made out of littleness, in the strange belief that littleness can content you. When you strive for anything in this world in the belief that it will bring you peace, you are belittling yourself and blinding yourself to glory. Littleness and glory are the choices open to your striving and your vigilance. You will always choose one at the expense of the other."

I want God more than I want an ego. I value the spirit in me more than I value ego accomplishments. When I renounce the world, I am taking away the ego's toys. My ego's toys are most generally things which society teaches me are to be sought (money, important positions, achievements, legacies). I renouce these things and seek deeper values.

I work out and run; but have needed to stop being attracted to shiney age group awards and Boston qualifying times and bragging about races. My workouts are being taken into obscurity as I complete my home gym and content myself with hours on machines in solitude or hours of slow jogging on a boring loop.

I don't eat a bunch of sugar, fat or preservative filled goodies. I stopped rewarding myself with food. I stopped spending my thinking hours planning meals.

I spend time in spiritual study and meditation. I spend time with a quiet mind. To have a quiet mind, I limit my exposure to media. Why? For example: in a meeting at work, my colleague showed a computer tape of a mother singing about what she says to her kids accompanied by The William Tell Overture. Now, 2 days later, that song is still preoccupying my brain. I want silence and light so I can hear the Voice for God, not a joke about child rearing.

So this is my choice. My choice takes me off the map of society. I no longer understand the busy people, the gourmet or the meat-eater, the smoker, the tv watcher, the shopper, the career-ist, the drinker, the church-goer; well everything normal.

Quiet and Miracles

From the Course in Miracles Text 28.I:
"The miracle comes quietly into the mind that stops an instant and is still. It reaches gently from that quiet time, and from the mind it healed in quiet then, to other minds to share its quietness. And they will join in doing nothing to prevent its radiant extension back into the Mind Which caused all minds to be. Born out of sharing, there can be no pause in time to cause the miracle delay in hastening to all unquiet minds, and bringing them an instant's stillness, when the memory of God returns to them. Their own remembering is quiet now, and what has come to take its place will not be wholly unremembered afterwards."

Nothing more need be said I suppose. I spend time with a quiet mind. I intend to be in quiet as much as possible for life. I believe that if I am just quiet in my thoughts then two things happen: a) I stop projecting ego nightmares of fear and hatred on the world, and b) the Holy Spirit has access to my mind to use it for healing all minds. I just need to let go. No, I don't think I'll get Alzheimer's disease because I didn't keep my brain active. No, I don't fear all the other tales of old age diminishment. I believe in God.

It is hard to describe how satisfying it is to sit with a quiet mind.

This morning, I worked out on the machines for 30 minutes and the ran 52 minutes on the hills. this evening, I skipped my evening exercise and sat in silence.