...in the great American eating machine. You don't have to be a victim. Take your power back.
US adults consumed 363 more calories per day in 2009 than in 1960.
Really. Figure out how to stop. Nothing wrong from total abstinence from the ethos. Fly under the radar. Quit doing what everyone else is doing. Absolutely. Do it.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
From the Unreal to the Real...
... and so went the chant we said twice a day at the ashram. It was a Catholic Benedictine ashram and I was a volunteer for a year before entering the order.
flick....I was swimming laps in a chlorine soaked pool. I was in the 6 year old age group. Orinda Country Club. Dark green speedo.
flick....I was riding a horse. A paint quarter horse. I had trained him to show in trail class. We won a championship.
flick.... I was riding my 10-speed bicycle down a hill in the east bay hills. I was wearing one of the first Bell bicycle helmets available.
flick...I was running cross country for UC Davis.
flick... I had landed at KCI. Rented a car. Driving down I29, I got my first look at Kansas City. My new home.
flick.... I was sober.
flick... I was out of work so I meditated alot.
flick... Contemplative prayer.
flick.... Kicked out of the monastery.
flick.... running for self transcendence.
flick.... I live in Texas.
flick... What if I allowed my mind to fly free? I mean really free. I mean let go.
Everyone would think I was weird and they might not like me. Do I care any longer? How do I stop eating the King's dainties for good? I am no longer going to try to validate what I believe. I will just believe it.
A dream. My mind expanded. Possibilities emerged. Soaring is occurring. I want to keep flying. I am a living metaphysician, monk, runner.
flick....I was swimming laps in a chlorine soaked pool. I was in the 6 year old age group. Orinda Country Club. Dark green speedo.
flick....I was riding a horse. A paint quarter horse. I had trained him to show in trail class. We won a championship.
flick.... I was riding my 10-speed bicycle down a hill in the east bay hills. I was wearing one of the first Bell bicycle helmets available.
flick...I was running cross country for UC Davis.
flick... I had landed at KCI. Rented a car. Driving down I29, I got my first look at Kansas City. My new home.
flick.... I was sober.
flick... I was out of work so I meditated alot.
flick... Contemplative prayer.
flick.... Kicked out of the monastery.
flick.... running for self transcendence.
flick.... I live in Texas.
flick... What if I allowed my mind to fly free? I mean really free. I mean let go.
Everyone would think I was weird and they might not like me. Do I care any longer? How do I stop eating the King's dainties for good? I am no longer going to try to validate what I believe. I will just believe it.
A dream. My mind expanded. Possibilities emerged. Soaring is occurring. I want to keep flying. I am a living metaphysician, monk, runner.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Ultra Fever
It happens every time I am not in severe pain: miles.
Since regaining use of my left foot 5 months ago, doing miles has been problematic even though continuously improving. The place where the scar ends on the bottom on my heel can be incredibly painful. And other place on the bottom back of the heel hurt for no explicable reason. But these things are getting better.
So, there is a 55 hour race over New Year's in Houston. The race rents cubes in a tent so you can stay right there onsite. I wanted a cube so I signed up for the race as soon as I noticed it was open for registration.
I have tried several times to do 100 miles in one race. But always I've been defeated: mentally. The closest I came was a Silverton in 2011 with 86 miles. If I had just sat down on that last day and ate, and not been afraid of falling on that mountain in the dark, I could've..... At Ultracentric, it only took 54 miles to tear up my little toes, then I was shivering like crazy and food running out my bowels..... At Aslinger, I got 80 miles in 20 hours before quitting because I knew I couldn't make 100 miles in 24 hours.
But anyway, I keep trying.
This weekend was not only miles for marathon training but miles for ultra preparation. I promised myself 10 hours of walking at any speed. Friday night I walked 7.2 miles in 2 hours. Saturday, I jog walked 5x1s for 20 miles and then walked another mile, which only took 4h53. Today I walked and jogged for 3h14min for 11.55 miles. All told 39.75 miles. Damn good.
As I was walking today, I knew there was no stopping me regardless of how bad this might be for me. Or how silly the idea of 100 miles in 55 hours is. I just must try again. I know the crew-less person has almost no chance of finishing 100 miles. I have almost no chance. But I still must try. I know people who are decades older with leg issues who slog their way along to get their 100. I am going to try again.
Between now and New Years (8 months) is a hot Houston summer. I've always been able to walk even in heat and I have a couple of small loops which are mostly trees. The 3100 mile Self Transcendence race begins in June. That always inspires me to do my laps. I'll just keep trying to add hours. I might go to San Antonio and walk a couple of marathons in a couple of days. But I will keep walking.
Since regaining use of my left foot 5 months ago, doing miles has been problematic even though continuously improving. The place where the scar ends on the bottom on my heel can be incredibly painful. And other place on the bottom back of the heel hurt for no explicable reason. But these things are getting better.
So, there is a 55 hour race over New Year's in Houston. The race rents cubes in a tent so you can stay right there onsite. I wanted a cube so I signed up for the race as soon as I noticed it was open for registration.
I have tried several times to do 100 miles in one race. But always I've been defeated: mentally. The closest I came was a Silverton in 2011 with 86 miles. If I had just sat down on that last day and ate, and not been afraid of falling on that mountain in the dark, I could've..... At Ultracentric, it only took 54 miles to tear up my little toes, then I was shivering like crazy and food running out my bowels..... At Aslinger, I got 80 miles in 20 hours before quitting because I knew I couldn't make 100 miles in 24 hours.
But anyway, I keep trying.
This weekend was not only miles for marathon training but miles for ultra preparation. I promised myself 10 hours of walking at any speed. Friday night I walked 7.2 miles in 2 hours. Saturday, I jog walked 5x1s for 20 miles and then walked another mile, which only took 4h53. Today I walked and jogged for 3h14min for 11.55 miles. All told 39.75 miles. Damn good.
As I was walking today, I knew there was no stopping me regardless of how bad this might be for me. Or how silly the idea of 100 miles in 55 hours is. I just must try again. I know the crew-less person has almost no chance of finishing 100 miles. I have almost no chance. But I still must try. I know people who are decades older with leg issues who slog their way along to get their 100. I am going to try again.
Between now and New Years (8 months) is a hot Houston summer. I've always been able to walk even in heat and I have a couple of small loops which are mostly trees. The 3100 mile Self Transcendence race begins in June. That always inspires me to do my laps. I'll just keep trying to add hours. I might go to San Antonio and walk a couple of marathons in a couple of days. But I will keep walking.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Modification and Dissolution
I was reading Plotinus Ennead 3.6.8 this morning. It mentioned a little bit about modification and dissolution. I'm not here to explain these technical terms of philosophy. I am here to say this caused me to ponder: how the environments around me seek to modify me or dissolve me into their milieu.
As children, we don't really choose our environments and how they effect us. We do what our parents put us into. For myself, even as a young woman, I didn't give hard thought to the effect of environments. Mainly I wanted to fit in and be cool and be as popular as possible (for a geek). I accepted the food and entertainment and sexuality of society.
I have a work environment. For the most part, I get along fine with it. It only bugs me when I'm supposed to eat with these people. My home environment is solitude, even though it is in the middle of town. Since leaving the monastery, now nearly 11 years ago, I haven't wanted to be assimilated or modified by society. I am in fact in disagreement with society and refuse to fall into it. So I abstain from much of American culture.
Like Daniel in the Old Testament, I refuse to eat the King's dainties. Dainties are more than food dainties like bacon and potato chips. Dainties for the mind are the corruptions found in entertainment. I just read that 1 in 7 American boys has been diagnosed with ADHD. In teenage years, 20% take some type of drug; for acting like boys pretty much. Wonder why?
There is an environment in my mind. I guard what I allow into my worldly perception. I don't want what is on the TV to clutter my mental environment. I desire to keep my mind pristine for spiritual study. Likewise, my physical body is made of only certain foods.
Part of all this inner discussion came about in the middle of my morning spiritual study; and today's run. I was trying to decide if I should go to an AA activity which began at 2 pm. But I felt strongly like the activity would be too covered over with aspects of American culture which I don't like to participate in. And I realized that, No, I won't be assimilated!
My Course in Miracles lesson for today is "In quiet I receive God's Word today." And in another book, I read something about sinking quietly into awareness itself, not just thinking about awareness.
Then I went running. Today, I decided to go to the park and do 5x1s for however long I wanted. 2 o'clock came and went and I was still running. So much for that decision about any social activity. I ended up with 21 miles. That is a post surgery high for mileage as well as time, 4h53min. The big deal however is that I didn't hate my shoes when I got done.
I run very near Galveston Bay; so there are many sea birds in the bayous. Today I saw a pretty blue-grey one I hadn't seen before. Didn't see the alligator that was there last week. It is cool, especially for the Gulf coast, only 70F. There were more ships today than usual. I wonder if that has to do with the delay in ship traffic caused by the oil spill last weekend.
As children, we don't really choose our environments and how they effect us. We do what our parents put us into. For myself, even as a young woman, I didn't give hard thought to the effect of environments. Mainly I wanted to fit in and be cool and be as popular as possible (for a geek). I accepted the food and entertainment and sexuality of society.
I have a work environment. For the most part, I get along fine with it. It only bugs me when I'm supposed to eat with these people. My home environment is solitude, even though it is in the middle of town. Since leaving the monastery, now nearly 11 years ago, I haven't wanted to be assimilated or modified by society. I am in fact in disagreement with society and refuse to fall into it. So I abstain from much of American culture.
Like Daniel in the Old Testament, I refuse to eat the King's dainties. Dainties are more than food dainties like bacon and potato chips. Dainties for the mind are the corruptions found in entertainment. I just read that 1 in 7 American boys has been diagnosed with ADHD. In teenage years, 20% take some type of drug; for acting like boys pretty much. Wonder why?
There is an environment in my mind. I guard what I allow into my worldly perception. I don't want what is on the TV to clutter my mental environment. I desire to keep my mind pristine for spiritual study. Likewise, my physical body is made of only certain foods.
Part of all this inner discussion came about in the middle of my morning spiritual study; and today's run. I was trying to decide if I should go to an AA activity which began at 2 pm. But I felt strongly like the activity would be too covered over with aspects of American culture which I don't like to participate in. And I realized that, No, I won't be assimilated!
My Course in Miracles lesson for today is "In quiet I receive God's Word today." And in another book, I read something about sinking quietly into awareness itself, not just thinking about awareness.
Then I went running. Today, I decided to go to the park and do 5x1s for however long I wanted. 2 o'clock came and went and I was still running. So much for that decision about any social activity. I ended up with 21 miles. That is a post surgery high for mileage as well as time, 4h53min. The big deal however is that I didn't hate my shoes when I got done.
I run very near Galveston Bay; so there are many sea birds in the bayous. Today I saw a pretty blue-grey one I hadn't seen before. Didn't see the alligator that was there last week. It is cool, especially for the Gulf coast, only 70F. There were more ships today than usual. I wonder if that has to do with the delay in ship traffic caused by the oil spill last weekend.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Alcohol Tips
•Alcohol is the #1 misused drug in the U.S.
•One half of car accidents are associated with alcohol misuse.
•Women absorb alcohol into the bloodstream faster and metabolize it slower than men.
•Alcohol Empties the Body of Vitamins and Mineral.
•Women develop alcoholic liver disease after a comparatively shorter period of heavy drinking and at a lower level of daily drinking than men
•Alcohol does not relieve depression - it makes it worse.
•Poor judgement is a natural outcome when the brain is influenced by alcohol.
•Moderate use (2-3 drinks) can also result in depleted aerobic capacity and negative impact on endurance for up to 48 hours after the last drink has
been consumed.
•One half of car accidents are associated with alcohol misuse.
•Women absorb alcohol into the bloodstream faster and metabolize it slower than men.
•Alcohol Empties the Body of Vitamins and Mineral.
•Women develop alcoholic liver disease after a comparatively shorter period of heavy drinking and at a lower level of daily drinking than men
•Alcohol does not relieve depression - it makes it worse.
•Poor judgement is a natural outcome when the brain is influenced by alcohol.
•Moderate use (2-3 drinks) can also result in depleted aerobic capacity and negative impact on endurance for up to 48 hours after the last drink has
been consumed.
Awakening
Plotinus Enneads 3.6.6: "...like dreamers take for actualities the figments of their sleeping vision. The sphere of sense, the Soul in its slumber; for all of the Soul that is in body is asleep...in any movement that takes the body with it there is no more than a passage from sleep to sleep..."
I am a consciousness asleep that wants to awaken. Doing anything doesn't help. Following the instructions of guru after guru, I have been frustrated. It became time to set out on my own.
I find the light in quiet. In quiet I make some type of connection with Authentic Being. I need A Course in Miracles because it gives me my own Teacher. My workbook lesson for today was, "Let me remember I am one with God." And then I became quiet. I left the world of sense and body. And I knew the vastness of The One. It was a brief glimpse, but I did know it.
Some teachers and books grant freedom from this world. There are various ways of looking at it. Some religions only grant freedom after death. But I. What do I say? What do I receive from my own depths.
I can sit in quiet and devote my mind towards God. I can wait in that place not of this world. There don't seem to be worldly rewards from my practice. This annoys my ego that I have nothing to show. Inner peace is in some way anti-life-in-this-world. It is pro-Life-in-That-Authenticity.
Any time I study outside, my hope become dashed. The methodology didn't work. But if I become patient and allow, then I know. Then I am awake. Freedom is free; terribly free.
I must do miles.
I am a consciousness asleep that wants to awaken. Doing anything doesn't help. Following the instructions of guru after guru, I have been frustrated. It became time to set out on my own.
I find the light in quiet. In quiet I make some type of connection with Authentic Being. I need A Course in Miracles because it gives me my own Teacher. My workbook lesson for today was, "Let me remember I am one with God." And then I became quiet. I left the world of sense and body. And I knew the vastness of The One. It was a brief glimpse, but I did know it.
Some teachers and books grant freedom from this world. There are various ways of looking at it. Some religions only grant freedom after death. But I. What do I say? What do I receive from my own depths.
I can sit in quiet and devote my mind towards God. I can wait in that place not of this world. There don't seem to be worldly rewards from my practice. This annoys my ego that I have nothing to show. Inner peace is in some way anti-life-in-this-world. It is pro-Life-in-That-Authenticity.
Any time I study outside, my hope become dashed. The methodology didn't work. But if I become patient and allow, then I know. Then I am awake. Freedom is free; terribly free.
I must do miles.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Character Passion Life
Sherpa John had these on his blog:
"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is
merely what others think you are." ~John Wooden
"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character
and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness,
immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the
pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself." ~Walter Anderson
Yesterday I was invited to coffee with the big boss, along with several others in my area. The boss said, "If you are not passionate about what you do then get lost. Get out of here." Interestingly frank way of saying that. I know that I am damn good at what I do. I'm the best in the company at facilitating HAZOPs. But am I passionate? I can't say yes because if I had health care, I'd retire. I like what I do and I'm good at it.period. Passion is a modern buzz word for an unrealistic expectation of how you should feel about work.
Then the next question is, am I passionate about anything? I love endorphins. I love finishing races. I love finishing my weight workouts. I love hearing people talk at AA meetings. I love small moments of clarity while I am studying spirituality. I love my Prius.
But my passion for career or spiritual achievement does seem to have been beaten down by years of small results. I mean I had a goal of God. I have steadily gained in inner peace during my years of spiritual work. But I can't say I got the brass ring. Most people think I am passionate about spirituality. I myself feel very subdued about it.
I am not passionate about logistics. But every event of my life has logistics. This ruins almost everything. I spend too much time planning travel routes and means of avoiding crowds or waiting, and not any time enjoying the moment.
I am in perpetual sadness over logistics. My character is determination and steady forward progress. Love is when I sit quietly with no stress. The sweet spot in each day is when I get over the inertia and begin to exercise. Once I get going, it takes about 15 minutes to warm up and feel good. If I was ever to appreciate life itself as a gift, then it is during exercise when I feel good about it all.
If you think by now that I go through life half depressed, you are right. I should take drugs if I want to get a higher happiness quotient. But that is not my plan, so I more or less spend most of my time in survival mode. That might sound sad. I suppose it is. But trying for more is to buy into society's psychobabble about how we should be passionate, translated as happy and energetic, all.the.time.
Happiness occurs when I sit quietly and let the world go. Being happy with quietness is a skill that can be learned and doesn't depend on any outside circumstances of expectations. This happiness with quiet is true connection this the God concept, or Spirit, or what ever you want to call life itself. Life Itself.
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