Yesterday, I finished Aslinger 50 miles, and drove home.
Last night, I asked the Lord, “What is the bottom line?” Trust is the word that immediately entered my mind, because I need to trust the Spirit of the Lord to take care of my work life.
Part 2 of the answer was like this. I am reading Varieties of Religious Experience by William James. I’ve read all these conversion experiences and the psychological explanations. Still, last night I said, “Lord, I wish I had the knowledge and love which was heartfelt enough to where I was always attracted to you.” These people with bliss experiences supposedly have such knowledge of safety that they never again feel fear. But then I realized that there is a media bias towards people who have the emotional experience of enlightenment and we are taught to want that. In spiritual terms, however, there is no “less than” associated with the person who has consciously decided to carry out the faith process. I have the gift of conscious conversion, to carry out the process of making the spiritual the center of my life as a decision and plan of action. I’m not doing it by myself. I do have spiritual help. But the Spirit honors my process. My plan or its actions are not important. The faith and the conscious turning to listen to the Spirit is what are important.
So, in a sense, that is a hugely beautiful thing: I walk hand in hand with the Spirit of the Lord because I want to.
So, yesterday, I ran 50 miles and drove home.
This morning, being un-injured though a bit fatigued, I find myself in exercise clothes, stretching, foam rollering, core exercises, free weights and some easy aerobics.
You have to ask: why? What is driving this activity? Shouldn’t I take a day off? I have depth within me. When I am working out, I am going in and finding my core, my essence. I must need to do this.
Showing posts with label Aslinger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aslinger. Show all posts
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Aslinger Race Report
I had questions. Here are the answers:
a) yes, my large quantity of training did help me do much better with 50 miles. I did finish; quitter didn't rule this time.
b) 50 miles always hurts.
Short report: 50.12 miles, 10h47 min (from Garmin without indoor pit stops, but including on-course aid-station), 11h20 total elapsed.
Splits for 10 miles:
2:01 (all jogging)
2:08 (started some walking)
2:04
2:13
2:21 (haha, barely moving)
Longer but still not very long report:
-On Friday, I slept in until 8:30am and left for Cape Girardeau at 11. Drive was very smooth. St Louis was not a pain. Ate dinner at Panera and got to the race site a little after 6.
-First thing, the RD, Bryan was chowing down a huge sandwich but he immediately said hi. He said he was happy to see me back. He got my plaque from last year (Senior women's champion, well I won the women's division too, but the open plaque went to the other woman who was only 42).
I changed my clothes and put my shoes on. I was ready about 15 min before start.
-Biggest happy face : Runningsister (aka Angela)!!! http://runningsister.blogspot.com/2011/02/black-warrior-50k-21911.html
Runningsister has cancer, but she still goes to ultras. I met her last year and have been following her blog. So I was INCREDIBLY happy she came. (she was in it for 24 hours, not like sissy me only doing 12, and she had done an ultra last weekend too)
-It was cool (50F, about 10C) and a tiny bit drippy. We started at 7 pm (about 35 of us, most of them doing 24 hrs as the "normal" 12 hour entrants were doing it during the day but cheap me didn't want to spend any money on a hotel).
-I ran the first 2 hours with Mike, a big young guy (really cute, but I didn't see his face until morning).
-For the first 3 or so hours, I was trying think up an excuse to quit and save face. I was totally discouraged when they posted that I ran only 18 miles in 4 hours. Cr@p, at that rate, I won't even make 50 in 12 hours, let alone in the 10.5 hours I really wanted to finish in. I was certain I couldn't last for 50 miles and kept thinking my right foot was going to howl pretty soon and end the matter (it never really did as I finally got that shoe right).
-At around 4 hours, I suddenly remember my mantra: Spirit of the Lord remind me to...accept your grace full love and present peace. "Things" started to go better and before I knew it, I realized I had finished a marathon and 50k seemed do-able.
- There was a sudden downpour around 15 miles. I was right by my car so quickly decided to get the pvc rain coat. It stopped pretty quick. and it rained 2 more little times so I wasted some time with coat putting on and off (I might have been the only wuss who did this)
- It seemed like a race of the gimpies. Everyone, even the young guys, looked at little ouchey from time to time. Some of the older guys looked positively listing and lame. But, dang, these people kept on (I would've quit).
-Ultra races have a tendency to strip away the big talk and flashy dreams that the training leaves you with. Its all a matter of truth. Either you keep going or you don't. There is no glamor. Everyone pretty much runs in their own little hell, wondering how they'll make it. Its all mental. My brain never seems to want to do it, and I have to somehow get past my own thoughts. Somewhere along the line, all your numerical idealisms fall away and your only hope is to keep going.
-At about 35 miles, I was down in the dumps again and asking for help, saying, "You do this, I can't." Then, I thought of a new prayer: Spirit of the Lord run with me...Teach me I am light and set me free. Things started to go pretty good again. Around then I walked a bit with Runningsister. She asked how my goal was coming. My answer included this gem, "I've only been walking on that hill over there." She laughed and said, "You know things are bad when you think there is a hill on a completely flat course."
-About 3:30 am, the sky looked sort of bright and I heard a bird tweet. I first thought, how can it be getting light already (and in the western sky to boot). It took me a long time to realize the brightness was from the moon, which was full, but I never got to see until it was about 4:30 am.
-At 47 miles (how the F*ck did that happen) I informed the lap counters that I was stopping at 50 miles. We agreed I had 3 laps; and Bryan the RD heard this conversation.
- At 48 miles I said, "If there is a God, thank you."
-When I got to the counters to start the last lap, I made a big deal out of it being the bell lap saying, "ding ding ding ding." The last lap, one blister finally decided to start yelling.
- At 49.5 miles, I said, "God, I'm not taking my will back. I still don't think I can finish on my own. You are still in charge."
- I finish 50 laps. The Garmin says 50.2 miles. The counters suddenly say, "Bryan said you wanted to run 50 miles but that is on 49.2 miles." I say, "I don't care what you say. I did 50 laps and my Garmin says 50.2. I get the buckle for 50 right?" "Yes." So into the building I go. (Bryan came over later and apologized for the counters. He had heard the 47 mile conversation and passed me twice on the course since then so he knew I ran the laps. He said it should have been about 50.18, which is what my Garmin got)
- I get my buckle.
- I didn't quit! (even though I passed my car 50 times) I think this is because prayer took my mind away from me and I was running on a higher power.
- My gear was parked near the nurse. I asked her if she had something clean to pop a blister. Ummm, no (after a frantic search through a kit). Ok, you must have an alcohol wipe? Oh, yeah, I'm sure I have that. Ok, the nurse seemed appalled at my feet. But I actually think they look very good, I mean really good. I've seen them in much much worse shape. But she did help me carry my stuff to the car and filled my coffee cup.
-On the road home. The first 100 miles was a little tough on keeping the eye lids open. But after that I was fine and made the drive with only 2 stops.
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it. Ultras always hurt, but they hurt less the more milage you do.
a) yes, my large quantity of training did help me do much better with 50 miles. I did finish; quitter didn't rule this time.
b) 50 miles always hurts.
Short report: 50.12 miles, 10h47 min (from Garmin without indoor pit stops, but including on-course aid-station), 11h20 total elapsed.
Splits for 10 miles:
2:01 (all jogging)
2:08 (started some walking)
2:04
2:13
2:21 (haha, barely moving)
Longer but still not very long report:
-On Friday, I slept in until 8:30am and left for Cape Girardeau at 11. Drive was very smooth. St Louis was not a pain. Ate dinner at Panera and got to the race site a little after 6.
-First thing, the RD, Bryan was chowing down a huge sandwich but he immediately said hi. He said he was happy to see me back. He got my plaque from last year (Senior women's champion, well I won the women's division too, but the open plaque went to the other woman who was only 42).
I changed my clothes and put my shoes on. I was ready about 15 min before start.
-Biggest happy face : Runningsister (aka Angela)!!! http://runningsister.blogspot.com/2011/02/black-warrior-50k-21911.html
Runningsister has cancer, but she still goes to ultras. I met her last year and have been following her blog. So I was INCREDIBLY happy she came. (she was in it for 24 hours, not like sissy me only doing 12, and she had done an ultra last weekend too)
-It was cool (50F, about 10C) and a tiny bit drippy. We started at 7 pm (about 35 of us, most of them doing 24 hrs as the "normal" 12 hour entrants were doing it during the day but cheap me didn't want to spend any money on a hotel).
-I ran the first 2 hours with Mike, a big young guy (really cute, but I didn't see his face until morning).
-For the first 3 or so hours, I was trying think up an excuse to quit and save face. I was totally discouraged when they posted that I ran only 18 miles in 4 hours. Cr@p, at that rate, I won't even make 50 in 12 hours, let alone in the 10.5 hours I really wanted to finish in. I was certain I couldn't last for 50 miles and kept thinking my right foot was going to howl pretty soon and end the matter (it never really did as I finally got that shoe right).
-At around 4 hours, I suddenly remember my mantra: Spirit of the Lord remind me to...accept your grace full love and present peace. "Things" started to go better and before I knew it, I realized I had finished a marathon and 50k seemed do-able.
- There was a sudden downpour around 15 miles. I was right by my car so quickly decided to get the pvc rain coat. It stopped pretty quick. and it rained 2 more little times so I wasted some time with coat putting on and off (I might have been the only wuss who did this)
- It seemed like a race of the gimpies. Everyone, even the young guys, looked at little ouchey from time to time. Some of the older guys looked positively listing and lame. But, dang, these people kept on (I would've quit).
-Ultra races have a tendency to strip away the big talk and flashy dreams that the training leaves you with. Its all a matter of truth. Either you keep going or you don't. There is no glamor. Everyone pretty much runs in their own little hell, wondering how they'll make it. Its all mental. My brain never seems to want to do it, and I have to somehow get past my own thoughts. Somewhere along the line, all your numerical idealisms fall away and your only hope is to keep going.
-At about 35 miles, I was down in the dumps again and asking for help, saying, "You do this, I can't." Then, I thought of a new prayer: Spirit of the Lord run with me...Teach me I am light and set me free. Things started to go pretty good again. Around then I walked a bit with Runningsister. She asked how my goal was coming. My answer included this gem, "I've only been walking on that hill over there." She laughed and said, "You know things are bad when you think there is a hill on a completely flat course."
-About 3:30 am, the sky looked sort of bright and I heard a bird tweet. I first thought, how can it be getting light already (and in the western sky to boot). It took me a long time to realize the brightness was from the moon, which was full, but I never got to see until it was about 4:30 am.
-At 47 miles (how the F*ck did that happen) I informed the lap counters that I was stopping at 50 miles. We agreed I had 3 laps; and Bryan the RD heard this conversation.
- At 48 miles I said, "If there is a God, thank you."
-When I got to the counters to start the last lap, I made a big deal out of it being the bell lap saying, "ding ding ding ding." The last lap, one blister finally decided to start yelling.
- At 49.5 miles, I said, "God, I'm not taking my will back. I still don't think I can finish on my own. You are still in charge."
- I finish 50 laps. The Garmin says 50.2 miles. The counters suddenly say, "Bryan said you wanted to run 50 miles but that is on 49.2 miles." I say, "I don't care what you say. I did 50 laps and my Garmin says 50.2. I get the buckle for 50 right?" "Yes." So into the building I go. (Bryan came over later and apologized for the counters. He had heard the 47 mile conversation and passed me twice on the course since then so he knew I ran the laps. He said it should have been about 50.18, which is what my Garmin got)
- I get my buckle.
- I didn't quit! (even though I passed my car 50 times) I think this is because prayer took my mind away from me and I was running on a higher power.
- My gear was parked near the nurse. I asked her if she had something clean to pop a blister. Ummm, no (after a frantic search through a kit). Ok, you must have an alcohol wipe? Oh, yeah, I'm sure I have that. Ok, the nurse seemed appalled at my feet. But I actually think they look very good, I mean really good. I've seen them in much much worse shape. But she did help me carry my stuff to the car and filled my coffee cup.
-On the road home. The first 100 miles was a little tough on keeping the eye lids open. But after that I was fine and made the drive with only 2 stops.
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it. Ultras always hurt, but they hurt less the more milage you do.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Aslinger Pre-lude to 50 Miles
In about an hour, I'll get in the car and drive 5 hours to southern Missouri for the Aslinger Endurance run. I hope to complete 50 miles.
Here is my romantic notion of today:
I feel like the unknowing hero sallying forth into an unseen adventure. Today, my inner Jason will step forward to overcome challenges, my inner David will step forward to battle enemies, and my inner Jesus will step forward to be crucified.
This is the intensity of the hero which I seek to set free anytime I go in a long distance race. This hero overcomes my normal inhibitions and impels me to go beyond the practical. It is not the holy grail which is the object of my quest; but within the pain, exhaustion, darkness and aloneness, I hope to find a moment of freedom from my ordinary logical rational mental framework. I hope for a tiny opening where one ray of spiritual light touches my heart.
Here is my romantic notion of today:
I feel like the unknowing hero sallying forth into an unseen adventure. Today, my inner Jason will step forward to overcome challenges, my inner David will step forward to battle enemies, and my inner Jesus will step forward to be crucified.
This is the intensity of the hero which I seek to set free anytime I go in a long distance race. This hero overcomes my normal inhibitions and impels me to go beyond the practical. It is not the holy grail which is the object of my quest; but within the pain, exhaustion, darkness and aloneness, I hope to find a moment of freedom from my ordinary logical rational mental framework. I hope for a tiny opening where one ray of spiritual light touches my heart.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Sudden and Spontaneous Conversion
I've been reading William James "Varieties of Religious Experience." He gives many examples and makes it quite clear that God's pattern of individual enlightenment, or conversion as he calls it, is this: desperate deep despair of sin, surrender, spontaneous salvation. Most of his examples are not of people who spent years in monasteries, or in self study, and achieved God's favor. In fact, most of his examples are of the ungodly.
And so yesterday evening, as I spoke quietly to what ever voice speaks to me, I expressed my disappointment and resentment. I have wanted enlightenment ever since the moment on a Jerusalem street when I first desired God-at-all (more than 25 years ago).
The voice replied, "this does not negate your simple practice of listening and waiting." In other words, "Be still and know," as the Psalmist said, is a valid and real thing to do. The embodiment of inner peace is a real connection with God. It doesn't carry the emotional liberation of spontaneous enlightenment/ conversion. As I write this blog, I realize that the listening practice carries cosmic implications of which I am unaware.
I live on faith alone, practicing the silent waiting. I continually offer up my resentment that I have not received spontaneous conversion. I have not reached the depths of despair which seem necessary for conversion. I realize that I cannot self generate despair. But I accept the grace full life and present peace given by the Spirit of the Lord to me today. Its possible I view the quiet continuously present inner connection with Spirit as a "better than nothing" option. That sounds terrible to realize that I resent God because God is present to me, but not giving me special experience.
I slept late today as I am going to a workshop. Today I enter a new relationship. I am to officially become a mentee. Yes, my company is having a day long workshop with a group of us entering these relationships. My fellow mentees are an awesome group of individuals. Several of them will also be part of the Passport Leadership Program which starts in April. I am among a great group. I am humble because I don't feel worthy.
So, on the one hand is resentment for lack of enlightenment. On the other hand is a great gift of relationship and learning experiences. I sit still in the middle, waiting and listening.
Tomorrow night is the Aslinger Endurance run. I am resting from workouts today and tomorrow I'll drive to the race site. Who knows what a night of running will hold. Races are always holy environments for me.
And so yesterday evening, as I spoke quietly to what ever voice speaks to me, I expressed my disappointment and resentment. I have wanted enlightenment ever since the moment on a Jerusalem street when I first desired God-at-all (more than 25 years ago).
The voice replied, "this does not negate your simple practice of listening and waiting." In other words, "Be still and know," as the Psalmist said, is a valid and real thing to do. The embodiment of inner peace is a real connection with God. It doesn't carry the emotional liberation of spontaneous enlightenment/ conversion. As I write this blog, I realize that the listening practice carries cosmic implications of which I am unaware.
I live on faith alone, practicing the silent waiting. I continually offer up my resentment that I have not received spontaneous conversion. I have not reached the depths of despair which seem necessary for conversion. I realize that I cannot self generate despair. But I accept the grace full life and present peace given by the Spirit of the Lord to me today. Its possible I view the quiet continuously present inner connection with Spirit as a "better than nothing" option. That sounds terrible to realize that I resent God because God is present to me, but not giving me special experience.
I slept late today as I am going to a workshop. Today I enter a new relationship. I am to officially become a mentee. Yes, my company is having a day long workshop with a group of us entering these relationships. My fellow mentees are an awesome group of individuals. Several of them will also be part of the Passport Leadership Program which starts in April. I am among a great group. I am humble because I don't feel worthy.
So, on the one hand is resentment for lack of enlightenment. On the other hand is a great gift of relationship and learning experiences. I sit still in the middle, waiting and listening.
Tomorrow night is the Aslinger Endurance run. I am resting from workouts today and tomorrow I'll drive to the race site. Who knows what a night of running will hold. Races are always holy environments for me.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Aslinger - Pre-Prelude
Today is Wednesday. The Aslinger Endurance run starts Friday night at 7 pm. I'll run all night. I hope to get to 50 miles, and stop there.
I thought alot last night and this morning about my fitness lifestyle. My time commitment goes far beyond what is needed for health or even marathon training. I realize most people can look at me and think, "well she doesn't have a life." In addition, I am continually trying to explain that my training and racing is not about the speeds or distances or accomplishments.
I feel the pull before any workout, "I wish I could go for hours." As I think about my desire to workout for an endless period of time, I realize that the quality of endless peace and self transcendence is what I am really after.Actually, my whole foray into ultra-running began with the idea of self transcendence thru running, as promoted by Sri Chinmoy. The endlessness offers me escape from myself (my restless personality) and the world, and draws me like a drug. Working out and the hope of transcendence of my ego are the center of my life. I revolve around the breaks from the ordinary work-a-day world. This is my prayer. This is my pathway to higher mind. My whole life has been about the pursuit of higher mind and working out is part of it for me.
So as I look at my upcoming race, I know what will happen. It is a one mile loop and it will shortly become dark but lit with street lights. I will just peacefully go around and around while my rational mind loses is grip. I'll stop at 50 miles (if that), because I want to be able to work out again soon. I go to the race environment to do this because I don't stick it out for 10 hours by myself; and the race environment provides needed support for my quest.
Paul Brunton said, "The Quest not only begins in the heart but also ends there too. It is an endeavour to lift to a higher plane, and expand to a larger measure, the whole of his identity. It brings in the most important part of himself--being, essence, Consciousness."
I thought alot last night and this morning about my fitness lifestyle. My time commitment goes far beyond what is needed for health or even marathon training. I realize most people can look at me and think, "well she doesn't have a life." In addition, I am continually trying to explain that my training and racing is not about the speeds or distances or accomplishments.
I feel the pull before any workout, "I wish I could go for hours." As I think about my desire to workout for an endless period of time, I realize that the quality of endless peace and self transcendence is what I am really after.Actually, my whole foray into ultra-running began with the idea of self transcendence thru running, as promoted by Sri Chinmoy. The endlessness offers me escape from myself (my restless personality) and the world, and draws me like a drug. Working out and the hope of transcendence of my ego are the center of my life. I revolve around the breaks from the ordinary work-a-day world. This is my prayer. This is my pathway to higher mind. My whole life has been about the pursuit of higher mind and working out is part of it for me.
So as I look at my upcoming race, I know what will happen. It is a one mile loop and it will shortly become dark but lit with street lights. I will just peacefully go around and around while my rational mind loses is grip. I'll stop at 50 miles (if that), because I want to be able to work out again soon. I go to the race environment to do this because I don't stick it out for 10 hours by myself; and the race environment provides needed support for my quest.
Paul Brunton said, "The Quest not only begins in the heart but also ends there too. It is an endeavour to lift to a higher plane, and expand to a larger measure, the whole of his identity. It brings in the most important part of himself--being, essence, Consciousness."
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Yakking in the Early Morning Snow
Today I feel like total Joy!
What's not to love about a run on snowy streets, too early for cars, briskly cold January in the Midwest, yak trax on the shoes. OMG, so wonderful to spend 80 minutes just jogging, being outside, too early for disturbances. Wonderful! A morning like this is part of what I love about running. I had no ambitions, just happy to be out there sucking cold air.
I, Ultra Monk, have signed up for yet another race: Howard Aslinger Endurance Run, in Cape Girardeau Missouri in mid-March: 12 hours of bliss.
Well, when I ran that 3:51 marathon in December, I sort of met my speed goal for the year. So my attention has gone back to ultra distances. My aim is to workout in such a way that 50 miles of running doesn't totally devastate my body. That is, I want to bring about 10 hours of running inside my training envelope.
This means that I will start to have extended workouts on Friday nights (since the Aslinger run starts at 7 pm). And I will continue to use ex-machines to increase endurance time. Slowly, the running time should increase too. Eventually, 8 to 10 hours of jogging should be "no big deal."
The 100 mile ultra runners who are at the top of the sport run far more miles than I do. Somehow, having to go to work interferes with my running these massive miles. Many 100 mile finisher-types just load up on weekends; but they have a skill of ignoring pain. I don't have that skill. In fact, I'm not interested in destroying my body because I ignored the pain for long enough to finish a race.
My interest is in building my body more. That's the difference. I found out that I can run about 7.5 hours without the destructive feeling I got at 9.5 hours. So I plan to train in order to push that destructive point out further. I have ideas for doing this which may be stupid in the minds of some more experienced ultra runners. But I think they will work for me.
Selah!
What's not to love about a run on snowy streets, too early for cars, briskly cold January in the Midwest, yak trax on the shoes. OMG, so wonderful to spend 80 minutes just jogging, being outside, too early for disturbances. Wonderful! A morning like this is part of what I love about running. I had no ambitions, just happy to be out there sucking cold air.
I, Ultra Monk, have signed up for yet another race: Howard Aslinger Endurance Run, in Cape Girardeau Missouri in mid-March: 12 hours of bliss.
Well, when I ran that 3:51 marathon in December, I sort of met my speed goal for the year. So my attention has gone back to ultra distances. My aim is to workout in such a way that 50 miles of running doesn't totally devastate my body. That is, I want to bring about 10 hours of running inside my training envelope.
This means that I will start to have extended workouts on Friday nights (since the Aslinger run starts at 7 pm). And I will continue to use ex-machines to increase endurance time. Slowly, the running time should increase too. Eventually, 8 to 10 hours of jogging should be "no big deal."
The 100 mile ultra runners who are at the top of the sport run far more miles than I do. Somehow, having to go to work interferes with my running these massive miles. Many 100 mile finisher-types just load up on weekends; but they have a skill of ignoring pain. I don't have that skill. In fact, I'm not interested in destroying my body because I ignored the pain for long enough to finish a race.
My interest is in building my body more. That's the difference. I found out that I can run about 7.5 hours without the destructive feeling I got at 9.5 hours. So I plan to train in order to push that destructive point out further. I have ideas for doing this which may be stupid in the minds of some more experienced ultra runners. But I think they will work for me.
Selah!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Running Spirit Woman
Since the Ultra, I've had this sense of blessedness, giftedness and gratitude which seems to exude from within. It causes a sense of invulnerability regarding running; which needs to be moderated. However, as I've ran normally the last three mornings, I get to continue to feel like "Running Spirit Woman" (as pictured above).In conjunction with the feeling of blessedness, my spiritual studies the past three days have focused very intensely on the presence of Jesus, and Jesus' promise to be with me. Very slowly, the light dawns (Jesus said "I am the light of the world"): that inner sense of blessedness could be the presence of light. It is not that I ran 80 miles, but that I did it with the presence of Christ. I went beyond my human limits because of a Higher Power.
Could the sense of blessedness be the dqwning of the awareness of Christ?
What I know about me is that I am a person who choses to believe in God and I believe I need God with me all day or I will kill myself. A Course in Miracles text says, "If you will accept the fact that I am with you, you are denying the world and accepting God. My will is His, and your decision to hear me is the decision to hear His Voice and abide in His Will." (8.IV.3.8) This morning, in my meditation, I agree that Christ, the light of the world, is my critical operating parameter.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Ultra Followup
.
Here are a couple of shots from the 80 mile run. The first is during the night sometime. The second is at the finish.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
80 Mile Run
Howard Aslinger Run 3/19-20/2010: 20:10 hours, 80 miles. And then I decided to stop. I was so happy to stop.
In 2006, I heard about the 3100 mile Self Transcendence race in New York City. A handful of runners run around a 0.5 mile block everyday for 16 hours until they complete the distance. A fifty something woman is the only one to have completed all 12 of these. I was captivated by the idea and began looking into ultramarathons. I have as of now completed several 50k events. The Aslinger event was the first 24 hour race.
Going in a race like this is a dream come true. Here I am actually at the starting line. The Race Director, Bryan, shakes my hand. I feel tears well up inside.
The race had about 50 starters, but numerous of them dropped out after 12 hours and a new bunch of runners joined the race for 12 hours. The race started at 7 pm, but I think the clock was a little early. There were 2 women runners (42 year old Angela and 51 year old me), and numerous women walkers (counted in above).
It was soon dark and we journeyed, mostly solo, thru the night. In the morning, I learned I had been running on “Optimist Drive” all night. What a hilarious joke from the Universe.
I mainly ran alone, not being matched in speed; and there was no “scenery.” After 4 or 5 hours into the race, the first pair of lap counters went home and two more came. These learned everyone’s name. And each lap I was greeted with a “Good job Laura.” I got to 50 miles at 6:40 am, 11:40 hours. On that lap, the girl said, “OMG! She’s at 50!” The RD Bryan was there and said, “Good job Laura.” Some girls who walked all night said, “Good job” every time I passed them. Bryan passed me a lot and said, “Good job Laura” every time.
Most of the men were from the St Louis Ultra Runners (SLUGS). A couple of the young guys were really fast, fast as Bryan.
Random scenes: A young black man dressed in Afro-Americana hip with a large costume diamond studded star hanging in the middle of his chest. A middle aged fat white guy on his gang banger Harley and actually flying the colors of a notorious gang. Buddies circle around to admire the bike. Arena park has an arena. It is a 4H arena and they were having a chicken show. I heard them announce showmanship class. I wonder what kids do in rooster showmanship. There was one car that couldn’t figure out the meaning of a barrier and drove right into the course in front of me (f’n go around, I think and maybe even mutter out loud to the open window and smoky dark inside as it passes me); and then the car had to dodge around several more cones to get back out. A doctor at the aid station asked (after an hour of running), “Doin’ ok?” I think, “Dipsh!t thinks I’m going to be in trouble now?”
The bathrooms were inside the 4H building, and very nice. Good thing as my bladder seemed to get full every hour.
Most of the first 45 miles, my brain was busy calculating paces and projecting that I’d get to 100 miles. Then, for two hours I seriously wondered why I was doing this race. Things were starting to hurt. There was not going to be any glory in the next 12 hours; just pain. I e-mailed my Canadian supporters (Runningmania.com) and I’m sure I received psychic energy. Anyway I just kept going. After 51 miles, I gave up the calculating. I thought about fueling. I’m glad I brought my own stuff. I didn’t even look at the food table during the night because I couldn’t see it. In the morning, I was looking for something to add to my own electrolyte supply (S-caps). I touched a white thing and found a potato. I dipped it in the salt. But they ran out of potatoes by 10 am. I also ate a couple of bananas.
On having passed the depression of 10 hours and come to the realization of being under 100 miles for 24 hours, what was there to think about? Mostly I repeated to myself the Course in Miracles lesson for the day, “I am sustained by the Love of God.” Some of the time I pondered what this meant, and stopped my calculating brain long enough to consider God’s sustenance. When it comes down to it, ultra marathoning is not about glory. Yes, your friends will be impressed and you can brag about your race later; but to you, it is the amazement of doing something you cannot do under your own will power.
At mile 75, I had been walking only. My blisters were not that bad, but my legs were no longer capable of running. They didn’t hurt exactly but felt fatigued and the knees were saying, “No, we refuse to take one more pounding.” I gave a victory arm raise for the lap counters, Bryan happened to be there again and said, “Good job Laura.” In the next two laps, I knew the end was near. My body was shot and continuing on my ruin it for a long time. I’m not willing to give up a summer of running for the sake of “I ran 24 hours” braggadocio. At mile 79, I asked the lap counter how many I had as I was thinking I’d quit right then. They said 79 and right then, Bryan comes running thru pushing a baby stroller and finishing 100 miles. I couldn’t quit amidst the hoopla, wouldn’t have been right. So I told the ladies I’d quit at 80.
After that I felt great. I felt happy and smart. I knew that I was following the guidance of my soul and not my ego. When I first signed up for this race, I was hoping to ego annihilation and Self transcendence. When I followed my soul, I had reached the moment I was looking for: the end of ego domination. During this boring-axx long-axx run, I had experienced ego deflation at depth. I am cleanly right sized and Self directed. That was my mission. Self transcendence was the definition of winning for me. I won!
What did I learn about myself? I am not a win at all cost person. Or my definition of winning is not what everyone else says. I quit at 80 miles because my body was shot and I had nothing to prove. In other words, I had won. For most others, the only way to win that race would be to stay for 24 hours, not quit at 20. The proof that I won was in the belt buckle.
So often we define winning in terms of meaningless numbers or artificial definitions of standards. Many people are unhappy with their running because it doesn’t meet some artificial definition like Boston Qualifier. Or people set a goal, 4 hour marathon, and then feel bad if they run a 4:02 marathon. I learned from my race that I am free of these standard measurements. When it is time for me to call it quits, I call it quits.
I eat to run, not run to eat, so a reward salad was nice. I slept for seven and a half hours like a rock. I woke up a 4 am but did not get up. I thought about my accomplishment of 80 miles and how happy I am that I knew when it was enough. Then I fell asleep and slept until 8:30. Standing up was a task, but after an hour in the hotel room, I could walk pretty good.
I know I don’t train enough to do a 100 mile race. I’m not sure I’ll ever do another 24 hour race; but at least two more ultras are on my radar for this year. I’m sure I’ll do many more marathons and continue to train 50 to 70 miles per week. I’ll continue to work on weight control and the perfect abdomen. I don’t have a need to do more or better or faster. My running is in the daily ups and down of the hills of Riverside.
Getting on the freeway, I teared up again. It had been quite a journey. 80 miles is a lot; more than I can imagine. I think I’ll do it again next year. Now, for the long drive home….the long drive home….
In 2006, I heard about the 3100 mile Self Transcendence race in New York City. A handful of runners run around a 0.5 mile block everyday for 16 hours until they complete the distance. A fifty something woman is the only one to have completed all 12 of these. I was captivated by the idea and began looking into ultramarathons. I have as of now completed several 50k events. The Aslinger event was the first 24 hour race.
Going in a race like this is a dream come true. Here I am actually at the starting line. The Race Director, Bryan, shakes my hand. I feel tears well up inside.
The race had about 50 starters, but numerous of them dropped out after 12 hours and a new bunch of runners joined the race for 12 hours. The race started at 7 pm, but I think the clock was a little early. There were 2 women runners (42 year old Angela and 51 year old me), and numerous women walkers (counted in above).
It was soon dark and we journeyed, mostly solo, thru the night. In the morning, I learned I had been running on “Optimist Drive” all night. What a hilarious joke from the Universe.
I mainly ran alone, not being matched in speed; and there was no “scenery.” After 4 or 5 hours into the race, the first pair of lap counters went home and two more came. These learned everyone’s name. And each lap I was greeted with a “Good job Laura.” I got to 50 miles at 6:40 am, 11:40 hours. On that lap, the girl said, “OMG! She’s at 50!” The RD Bryan was there and said, “Good job Laura.” Some girls who walked all night said, “Good job” every time I passed them. Bryan passed me a lot and said, “Good job Laura” every time.
Most of the men were from the St Louis Ultra Runners (SLUGS). A couple of the young guys were really fast, fast as Bryan.
Random scenes: A young black man dressed in Afro-Americana hip with a large costume diamond studded star hanging in the middle of his chest. A middle aged fat white guy on his gang banger Harley and actually flying the colors of a notorious gang. Buddies circle around to admire the bike. Arena park has an arena. It is a 4H arena and they were having a chicken show. I heard them announce showmanship class. I wonder what kids do in rooster showmanship. There was one car that couldn’t figure out the meaning of a barrier and drove right into the course in front of me (f’n go around, I think and maybe even mutter out loud to the open window and smoky dark inside as it passes me); and then the car had to dodge around several more cones to get back out. A doctor at the aid station asked (after an hour of running), “Doin’ ok?” I think, “Dipsh!t thinks I’m going to be in trouble now?”
The bathrooms were inside the 4H building, and very nice. Good thing as my bladder seemed to get full every hour.
Most of the first 45 miles, my brain was busy calculating paces and projecting that I’d get to 100 miles. Then, for two hours I seriously wondered why I was doing this race. Things were starting to hurt. There was not going to be any glory in the next 12 hours; just pain. I e-mailed my Canadian supporters (Runningmania.com) and I’m sure I received psychic energy. Anyway I just kept going. After 51 miles, I gave up the calculating. I thought about fueling. I’m glad I brought my own stuff. I didn’t even look at the food table during the night because I couldn’t see it. In the morning, I was looking for something to add to my own electrolyte supply (S-caps). I touched a white thing and found a potato. I dipped it in the salt. But they ran out of potatoes by 10 am. I also ate a couple of bananas.
On having passed the depression of 10 hours and come to the realization of being under 100 miles for 24 hours, what was there to think about? Mostly I repeated to myself the Course in Miracles lesson for the day, “I am sustained by the Love of God.” Some of the time I pondered what this meant, and stopped my calculating brain long enough to consider God’s sustenance. When it comes down to it, ultra marathoning is not about glory. Yes, your friends will be impressed and you can brag about your race later; but to you, it is the amazement of doing something you cannot do under your own will power.
At mile 75, I had been walking only. My blisters were not that bad, but my legs were no longer capable of running. They didn’t hurt exactly but felt fatigued and the knees were saying, “No, we refuse to take one more pounding.” I gave a victory arm raise for the lap counters, Bryan happened to be there again and said, “Good job Laura.” In the next two laps, I knew the end was near. My body was shot and continuing on my ruin it for a long time. I’m not willing to give up a summer of running for the sake of “I ran 24 hours” braggadocio. At mile 79, I asked the lap counter how many I had as I was thinking I’d quit right then. They said 79 and right then, Bryan comes running thru pushing a baby stroller and finishing 100 miles. I couldn’t quit amidst the hoopla, wouldn’t have been right. So I told the ladies I’d quit at 80.
After that I felt great. I felt happy and smart. I knew that I was following the guidance of my soul and not my ego. When I first signed up for this race, I was hoping to ego annihilation and Self transcendence. When I followed my soul, I had reached the moment I was looking for: the end of ego domination. During this boring-axx long-axx run, I had experienced ego deflation at depth. I am cleanly right sized and Self directed. That was my mission. Self transcendence was the definition of winning for me. I won!
What did I learn about myself? I am not a win at all cost person. Or my definition of winning is not what everyone else says. I quit at 80 miles because my body was shot and I had nothing to prove. In other words, I had won. For most others, the only way to win that race would be to stay for 24 hours, not quit at 20. The proof that I won was in the belt buckle.
So often we define winning in terms of meaningless numbers or artificial definitions of standards. Many people are unhappy with their running because it doesn’t meet some artificial definition like Boston Qualifier. Or people set a goal, 4 hour marathon, and then feel bad if they run a 4:02 marathon. I learned from my race that I am free of these standard measurements. When it is time for me to call it quits, I call it quits.
I eat to run, not run to eat, so a reward salad was nice. I slept for seven and a half hours like a rock. I woke up a 4 am but did not get up. I thought about my accomplishment of 80 miles and how happy I am that I knew when it was enough. Then I fell asleep and slept until 8:30. Standing up was a task, but after an hour in the hotel room, I could walk pretty good.
I know I don’t train enough to do a 100 mile race. I’m not sure I’ll ever do another 24 hour race; but at least two more ultras are on my radar for this year. I’m sure I’ll do many more marathons and continue to train 50 to 70 miles per week. I’ll continue to work on weight control and the perfect abdomen. I don’t have a need to do more or better or faster. My running is in the daily ups and down of the hills of Riverside.
Getting on the freeway, I teared up again. It had been quite a journey. 80 miles is a lot; more than I can imagine. I think I’ll do it again next year. Now, for the long drive home….the long drive home….
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