I am about to say something to the ether, that is anyone who reads this.
I am about to get tangled up in pseudo-spirituality and contradictory God consciousness.
Lets say I've been directing my meditation and spiritual reading towards the inner. Towards service to The Universe and not myself. My life is not my own. There is a higher consciousness from which I receive intuition and guidance. I feel that today's DNF was service and not self serving.
Now how do I tell you a story and not sound egotistical. I can't.
Here's what I think. Several weeks ago, I went in the Irving marathon. I felt sure my friend cheated. Now I don't know exactly what happened but they did add about 2 hours to her time. She is the Race Director for the races I was at this weekend. She has always been super nice to me and was great yesterday when I finished marathon #46. I didn't judge her for Irving. I just wanted to do my marathons and she was having races for me to do.
Today, I was attempting to do another marathon; second in 2 days. I started at 5:30 am to get alot done before the San Antonio sun started to beat on me. Things went ok for about 4 laps, half way there. Lap 5 was hot. Lap 6 I was struggling with the heat and a toe nail. To finish lap 6 would give me almost 20 miles. But there was still 2 laps, about 6.66 miles to go. I would have had to walk those miles in the hot sun. I would have had to limp a bit because of the toe. I didn't want to do it. I could have. I didn't see the point.
During the 6th lap, I realized I could stop. I couldn't imagine walking for 2 hours in the direct sun. I could just stop. Pack it in for the day. Do marathon #47 some other day.
When I got back to the aid station, I told them I was quitting. It was too hot for me. The RD tried to convince me to keep going. But I just said I didn't want to kill myself over a race. I jumped in the car and drove the 4 hours back to Houston.
What did I do? I showed someone that it is possible to just quit. The egotistical part is thinking that I was serving The Universe, or carrying out God's will for me by showing this person that you can quit. It is ok to have a DNF instead of cheating and saying you finished.
This woman wants to break the Guiness record for number of marathons done. In the chase, she has stress fractures. In the chase, something fishy happened at Irving. I suspect if I go look at the race results from yesterday, it will show that she ran a marathon when I know she didn't.
What about marathon #46? I guess at this point, I say it went well but was fairly uneventful.
The race director insists on Iran colors and symbolism. Her heritage is Iranian, but she has been in the US for 40 years. So I bought myself a USA running top from USATF before going to this race. Here is a picture of me in my 1980 top with my medal. I hope I look as good as Shalane Flannigan.
I will also say that since I only went 20 miles today instead of 26, I'm feeling pretty good. I'll take it.