Good Friday

Good thing Jesus died on a Friday so I could have a 3 day weekend.

I'm on a mini-retreat, having driven to Dallas for a marathon. I've been thinking alot about my monastery days, reading religious blogs and reading a book by a religious sister.

I am not a monk; just a householder, almost nothing in most people's eyes.

But clearly, I have an interest in spiritual matters. It strikes me this year that I have no idea what Christianity really is. Yes, I know the creeds and I've read the Bible, taught catechism myself. But it all seems meaningless to me. Once I decided that religion was man made and not a creation of God. That decision means I don't get why people practice religious services.

But clearly, I have an interest in spiritual matters. I keep looking the web pages of my former monastery and wonder. In my inner most being there is nothing.

In this world, you have to either join a movement and throw your heart and reality into it, allowing it to be your world; or let go of everything and face the blankness within. This blankness is your truth as a human.