From Sunday 9/16:
To allow myself to be afloat in a sea of nothingness; no moorings to anything of the ego. In the emptiness of this morning, I "almost" felt my true self. that is, I felt a moment of that something which is not my ego; something which had no agenda.
And now it is Monday:
See, weekends are hermit weekends. Yesterday, I did not even go outside. This time of introspection coupled with Course in Miracles study helped me to see how much I fight every thing and every one; at least in my mind. In person, I'm seen as helpful friendly and competent. Inside my head, it is fight fight fight. Fight food, fight exercise, fight my body, fight society, etc.
But, when I remember to stop and let it go, things are ok.