True Identity

This morning I was on my treadmill for a couple of miles. I have there index cards with quotes from A Course in Miracles. This morning, I was reading this from chapter 31: "The savior's vision is as innocent of what your brother is as it is free of any judgment made upon yourself. It sees no past in anyone at all. And thus it serves a wholly open mind, unclouded by old concepts, and prepared to look on only what the present holds. It cannot judge because it does not know. And recognizing this, it merely asks, "What is the meaning of what I behold?" Then is the answer given. And the door held open for the face of Christ to shine upon the one who asks, in innocence, to see beyond the veil of old ideas and ancient concepts held so long and dear against the vision of the Christ in you."

I was inspired by "It sees no past at all" and "to see beyond the veil of old ideas."

See, in the past week, I've poured another pile of money into somewhat helpful theraputics for my left heel; but was still left with annoyance of the practitioners or the business model they adhere to. In appointment number 3, the therapy was pain producing; and the practitioner was suggesting I spend more and more money on various things.

No matter my spiritual aspirations, I can't sustain endless expenditures. And then I said to myself, "it would be much cheaper and probably just as effective is you cut back on running." Except for I wanted to go in a marathon in Utah on September 8, I have no qualms about less running/more cross training. Logically, the cross training is better for me physically.

This phase of my development means that I have to let go of old identities: I am a runner. But, as a Course in Miracles student, I know I need to identify with Spirit. And to the door is open to once again take a step away from delusional reality and step further into Spiritual Reality.

There is a great deal of inner peace in my cross training. It is not attached to the world. It has no goals. It is symbolic of becoming and "inner athlete." Running is a hobby. Being an inner athlete is existential. And so I am free to choose from various endurance options. Endurance, no matter how it is achieved, is still a result of my inner being. In love with the energy, I allow it to express somehow.

During my vacation last week, I felt that spiritual pursuit is not a hobby, not a game, not an option. That other people have no spiritual connection does not mean I have to quit because mine seems so feeble even with the effort I put into it. Quitting God is not an option for me.