Last night as I lay in bed, my ego mind was attacking me. It was going on and on and on in complaint about some situation. I could feel myself projecting anger and mistrust. At one point, I felt and realized how the thoughts making up my physical body are anger.
I asked the Holy Spirit for help. A minute later, the harangue begins again. At one point, I realized that the harangue had switched topics; just like that. I kept working on other thoughts.
When I woke up this morning, I felt at peace with going to do a task today (a visit to a new sports clinic). But as I did my morning spiritual study, I first remembered that somewhere in a Course in Miracles, we are advised that when a brother asks an unreasonable thing, we should do it (what was unreasonable is no young whipper snapper chiro is going to be able to help me by counciling me about chi running or how I am unbalanced). I remembered to laugh at my ego thoughts. I remembered to bow down before my brother and say, "Give me your blessing holy son of God."
But most of all, I realized that the answer to my question was a metaphysical answer. This reality is an illusion and I'm responsible for my projections. So I did the opposite of my ego's council and went through with the task. Trusting the Holy Spirit was part of my ascendance to the metaphysical reasoning.
The task turned out to be pure joy. I'm happy about it (Dr Bloom was a bent up old man who has been working with athlete for 60 years, and should have been wearing a grey sweatshirt). After I was done, I went running in the Houston heat and humidity. I think I am growing to like the swelter. Anyway, as I was running, I realized that the answer is always the same answer: let go. Stop trying to control the illusion. Let the Holy Spirit have the illusion.
And so I had a spiritual experience of joy instead of a pissed-off-ed-ness with lifelong resentment.
Which now teaches me: every experience I have as joy gives me joy in my memory instead of hate. Think about it. How many past memories pop into your mind on a daily basis? How many are of joy? Usually they are of fear. But imagine a life where the pop up memories are joyful and that is how you spend each day: in joy.
It is the Spirit that does all this. By myself, I'd be stuck with the anger.
I'm committed to God. No.matter.what.you.think.
Next stop on my 2012 race calender is this place:
After today's experience, I'm sure I'll be there is good health. I'm about to visit Southwest Airlines and click buy....bye bye Luv Voucher!