I've been having a degenerative problem with my left heel for several months. The pain was getting worse and at the end of May, I came home from a race in bad pain. It hasn't gotten any better since, but worse. I went to some practitioners who treat runners. I noticed money was flying out to them. Incredible sums as I looked earlier today at my insurance statement (deductible not yet paid).
Last week, I decided I would just give running a rest and not see any practitioners. These so-called helpers would give me a pain treatment and then send me out to run; thus making matters worse. Stopping running is what I need to heal.
So I stopped. Since I have spent every weekend for years running 40 to 50 miles, I didn't know what to do. Today at work, I thought about this blank openness where running used to be. About 2 pm, I thought I needed to grieve; not rush onto some different thing (which I can only think of past activities). I asked the Holy Spirit what would be forward.
As I was driving out of the parking lot at 3 pm, I realized that all my thoughts were past thoughts. I had no idea of a new thing for the future. That is when the revelation hit: the Real World is forward.
The Real World is defined by A Course in Miracles as all the loving thoughts of God's Son; and we are God's one Son. These loving thoughts form a reality: the Real World. I don't know what changes this revelation will make to my dream of this world; but I'm sure something.
As I typed this, I also remembered something else the Course says: if you leave an empty space, God will come into it and occupy it. This is another reason not to rush out and find a new hobby.
Well, I will run again after I heal; but I no longer identify myself as "ultra runner." I am free to have another identity. The Course has something to say about that too.
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