Someone else called God "the Hideous Strength;" maybe C.S. Lewis, I forget. Hideous: not meaning disgusting but so big and awesome it is incomprehensible, beyond beautiful.
That name crossed my mind in my morning spiritual study, although I have not thought of it for years. I was connected to The Presence this morning when I wrote this in my journal: "have you ever considered what its like to live in conscious contact with that Strength AND aware that the Strength is Love; love which never hurt anyone and loves all. To get this awareness requires laying down the ego's arms and sitting quietly with no little ego thoughts, sitting quietly with the one thought of love."
To sit in silence with "the Thought God holds of me" (ACIM text 30) is peace.
Mass is that hideous strength and peace.
A Course in Miracles is always saying to forgive God. Forgiveness means overlooking illusions and seeing the truth of love beyond the illusion (this world). I finally got what Jesus meant this morning. I need to forget everything the Bible and this world says about God and look beyond this world to the Love which I know exists. Forgiveness is to look beyond but also to realize it never happened. What ever I remembered from this world was an illusion, my own projection of a bad dream. That is not God. So to know God, I have to let go of my illusion of God (ie forgive God). Since I was in awe and awareness of That Hideous Strength today, I understood that I had forgiven God.
I ran 60 minutes on the treadmill in silence and peace. I feel so much more relaxed, really un- stressed, when I leave the radio off. Treadmill running is easier on the body than road running. It burns calories and works the cardio; but otherwise it is my winter break from running.