In a dramatic switch, my reading material has totally switched this weekend. Last weekend, I was finishing Thomas Merton's Seven Story Mountain; and reviewing my journey into a Benedictine convent. This weekend, I am reading a book about the BP Texas City 2005 explosion called "A Failure to Learn." Since I am a process safety engineer, this book is in direct line with my current work in a chemical plant.
Having left my past behind, in the sense that I can let it go, I move into the present and discover what the spirit is saying to me today. In so much as I agree with the argument that God can speak through anything, the Texas City book is tremendously thought provoking.
I daily make decisions about risk. In fact, that is almost my entire job.
So having a quiet mind to hear what the spirit is saying seems quite important. I need my intuitive sense.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
Got Being?
If you know you have Being, then you don't need anything else.
It is the weekend. Dr Hot Dustin has worked some miracles on my left calf and ankle. Even fang is not bothering me. There will be a few miles tomorrow and Sunday, plus cross training. But not too much since I have a marathon in San Antonio on the 4th.
It is so freaking good to NOT be in massive pain all.the.time.
This evening, I am cross training plus TRX-ing. What a great way to do intervals.
I think about generating spiritual energy, and the sense of endlessness flows through me.
Drink plain water.
Eat bread.
Juggle the kettle bells.
Endure transcend love.
83 hours including 187 miles so far in June. The goal for the weekend is to get to 90 hours.
It is the weekend. Dr Hot Dustin has worked some miracles on my left calf and ankle. Even fang is not bothering me. There will be a few miles tomorrow and Sunday, plus cross training. But not too much since I have a marathon in San Antonio on the 4th.
It is so freaking good to NOT be in massive pain all.the.time.
This evening, I am cross training plus TRX-ing. What a great way to do intervals.
I think about generating spiritual energy, and the sense of endlessness flows through me.
Drink plain water.
Eat bread.
Juggle the kettle bells.
Endure transcend love.
83 hours including 187 miles so far in June. The goal for the weekend is to get to 90 hours.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Meet Fang
This morning, doing my spiritual study, I also listened to part of my mind resent my boss. Not for anything he has done, but just general hate. I asked myself why? Especially since my main purpose on earth is not to win at work but to carry out my spiritual purpose. At this point, my Course in Miracles text said to me:
In this one still dimension of time,
I look on Christ.
God's guiltless Son is only light.
As an aside dear reader: Christ and Son are not defined in the same way as denominational Christianity.
I thought my 3 phrases during my morning exercise and during my drive to work.
Christ is an inner characteristic of everyone. Son is more like The Sonship to which we all belong. In my own estimation: in the beginning, God said "Let there be light," and stopped there. The rest of the creation story is the ego's mythology.
But what is really important is the sense of peace and the dis-arming of the ego that happens when you realize you are not here to succeed in a worldly life, but a spiritual one.
Meet Fang:
You can see fang inside my heel. But fang is quiet now. It is my achilles that needs more care and attention.
In this one still dimension of time,
I look on Christ.
God's guiltless Son is only light.
As an aside dear reader: Christ and Son are not defined in the same way as denominational Christianity.
I thought my 3 phrases during my morning exercise and during my drive to work.
Christ is an inner characteristic of everyone. Son is more like The Sonship to which we all belong. In my own estimation: in the beginning, God said "Let there be light," and stopped there. The rest of the creation story is the ego's mythology.
But what is really important is the sense of peace and the dis-arming of the ego that happens when you realize you are not here to succeed in a worldly life, but a spiritual one.
Meet Fang:
Friday, June 21, 2013
Not God
In relation to Liu Xiaobo's wife's comment, Meng Hu gleaned this bit of wisdom: To engage in the world is to give it tacit approbation. To be invisible is the true incompatibility.
This morning, I read in A Course in Miracles chapter 13.III: "you have used the world to cover your love, and the deeper you go into the blackness of the ego’s foundation, the closer you come to the Love that is hidden there..."
Reading Merton as he works out the decision to join a monastery and become a priest, I clearly see what synapses in my brain were triggered and why I decided to do the same thing. I also see that I was acting on thoughts in my own mind, just as Merton; but based on what I've learned about neurophilosophy, that doesn't mean God was speaking.
I am going to go outside and sweat. I have a heel spur. I asked Dr to tape it. We will also do the other exercises to work around it.
I have been trying a 24 hour fast today. I still have a couple of hours. I seem to be able to do such a thing only as prayer or renunciation of the world. For health is not enough.
Not going in races makes me invisible and not eating makes me incompatible. My other compatibility activities are antagonistic to others, hence not invisible. I could become more invisible. At least my recognition award was not handed out in front of the team.
This morning, I read in A Course in Miracles chapter 13.III: "you have used the world to cover your love, and the deeper you go into the blackness of the ego’s foundation, the closer you come to the Love that is hidden there..."
Reading Merton as he works out the decision to join a monastery and become a priest, I clearly see what synapses in my brain were triggered and why I decided to do the same thing. I also see that I was acting on thoughts in my own mind, just as Merton; but based on what I've learned about neurophilosophy, that doesn't mean God was speaking.
I am going to go outside and sweat. I have a heel spur. I asked Dr to tape it. We will also do the other exercises to work around it.
I have been trying a 24 hour fast today. I still have a couple of hours. I seem to be able to do such a thing only as prayer or renunciation of the world. For health is not enough.
Not going in races makes me invisible and not eating makes me incompatible. My other compatibility activities are antagonistic to others, hence not invisible. I could become more invisible. At least my recognition award was not handed out in front of the team.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Merton - The Vision....
...or was it a temptation for the ego.
...or a travesty of spiritual justice.
I have mentioned I was reading Thomas Merton's Seven Story Mountain. I first read it 20 or so years ago. I vaguely remember Merton being a dramatic influence on my desire to enter a monastery and pursue contemplative life.
I am just now finished the chapter where he is baptized a Catholic at the age of 23. Reading his language, I realize now that it is highly mirroring what is written in the Catholic Catechism about what it is supposed to mean. It is however all belief. If you believe it, then it is true.
Those many years ago, I believed Merton and I wanted what he said. I went and did it.
If I was to mention to a Catholic that a God of love would never come up with that sort of specialness schema, they would just insist it is a mystery and not logical. So it is not a topic that can be discussed. Believe or not.
If I believe a thing doesn't make it true however. Even if I prefer the theology of A Course in Miracles, we can be sure it is a human perception who is judging.
I received an award at work this week. Pinnacle award for leadership. So, I guess I don't need a Seven Story Mountain. I just get up, get dressed, go to work. Nothing special.
I went to a new doctor to try one more time for professional help regarding my painful heel. Good news is that is probably not a heel spur but a pinched nerve. Treatment is underway. I am being good and resisting endless miles. I actually like not feeling constant pain.
Should anybody need to search for God?
Seriously.
...or a travesty of spiritual justice.
I have mentioned I was reading Thomas Merton's Seven Story Mountain. I first read it 20 or so years ago. I vaguely remember Merton being a dramatic influence on my desire to enter a monastery and pursue contemplative life.
I am just now finished the chapter where he is baptized a Catholic at the age of 23. Reading his language, I realize now that it is highly mirroring what is written in the Catholic Catechism about what it is supposed to mean. It is however all belief. If you believe it, then it is true.
Those many years ago, I believed Merton and I wanted what he said. I went and did it.
If I was to mention to a Catholic that a God of love would never come up with that sort of specialness schema, they would just insist it is a mystery and not logical. So it is not a topic that can be discussed. Believe or not.
If I believe a thing doesn't make it true however. Even if I prefer the theology of A Course in Miracles, we can be sure it is a human perception who is judging.
I received an award at work this week. Pinnacle award for leadership. So, I guess I don't need a Seven Story Mountain. I just get up, get dressed, go to work. Nothing special.
I went to a new doctor to try one more time for professional help regarding my painful heel. Good news is that is probably not a heel spur but a pinched nerve. Treatment is underway. I am being good and resisting endless miles. I actually like not feeling constant pain.
Should anybody need to search for God?
Seriously.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
The Lamb that was Slain
Those of us people raised in some form of Christianity have heard: Worthy is the Lamb that was slain. It comes from Revelations.
So.....
This morning, I intentionally slept late. After getting up and settling into my morning spiritual study, I realized I had been criticizing a person with my thoughts, not even really aware of it. And so I prayed. A Course in Miracles discusses our lack of discipline when it comes to our thoughts; we'll allow most thought attacks to go on and on. I realized that humans pretty much hate each other. I wish I wasn't like this.
In conjunction with my Merton study, I wondered again what a mystic is. I wrote down my thoughts:
So.....
This morning, I intentionally slept late. After getting up and settling into my morning spiritual study, I realized I had been criticizing a person with my thoughts, not even really aware of it. And so I prayed. A Course in Miracles discusses our lack of discipline when it comes to our thoughts; we'll allow most thought attacks to go on and on. I realized that humans pretty much hate each other. I wish I wasn't like this.
In conjunction with my Merton study, I wondered again what a mystic is. I wrote down my thoughts:
- To see things differently
- By living apart from the main stream.
- To never leave the spiritual foundation.
And then I wrote down some things I believe:
- Either all things are evidence of God: "Who then made all this?"
- Or none: the world I see is my illusion.
- I can't believe God made evil.
- I believe there is a "worthy" part of my being.
And then revelation hit me: Worthy is the Lamb that was slain. The Lamb is Self, the inherent worthy part of every human and all things, the Son of God. And all the story of Jesus came clear as a crucifixion of Self and a resurrection of Self. Self never goes away and ego never ceases to attack and crucify Self.
So I added one more to my definition of a mystic:
- To worship Self, the Lamb, transcend to Self, join the One God.
Now it is 9 am and incredibly hot outside. I plan to fill the hydropak and go walk laps in Brummerhop Park. I think it is possible for a human to walk around in this heat. Maybe about noon, I'll come in and do cross training. Or whatever. It doesn't matter. Worthy is the Lamb that was slain.
Invest all your thoughts in The Lamb, and nothing else.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Revisiting My Past
I have started reading Thomas Merton's "Seven Story Mountain." I was hoping to find the impetus for my own spiritual journey, as the book seems to have played a part in my journey. I'm only up to where he is about 19 years old; and a seeming mess.
Now I am roughly 35 years older than the seeming mess I was at 19. Sitting here, I can say I have an amazing amount of discipline: going to work responsibly to earn a living, daily spiritual workouts, sober for 27 years.
I relate to Merton's inner struggle. Part of why I keep to myself is that I need to keep looking inward to find the pattern. What is it I am blind to?
Today, it took 5 hours in 102F heat index to bring my ego to the quitting point; an end of sorts as I said, "no I can't stand another hour and a half to make a marathon." It was sweaty and not a hint of a breeze. It was impossible to keep going from a heat perspective, but also from a pain perspective. I wish I could. I can't run far enough to really find myself.
Had I achieved "Vowed Religious" I'd always have a validated position for my ego to resurrect over and over. As it is, I have the failure of that endeavor and numerous other attempts to achieve something. I am left with: sober.
But wait, I just beat out 2 other colleagues for a job I've wanted for 3 years.
I have to be alone to struggle with my inner self; but also, I'll go to an AA meeting where I always get the humility needed to be a tolerable person.
Now I am roughly 35 years older than the seeming mess I was at 19. Sitting here, I can say I have an amazing amount of discipline: going to work responsibly to earn a living, daily spiritual workouts, sober for 27 years.
I relate to Merton's inner struggle. Part of why I keep to myself is that I need to keep looking inward to find the pattern. What is it I am blind to?
Today, it took 5 hours in 102F heat index to bring my ego to the quitting point; an end of sorts as I said, "no I can't stand another hour and a half to make a marathon." It was sweaty and not a hint of a breeze. It was impossible to keep going from a heat perspective, but also from a pain perspective. I wish I could. I can't run far enough to really find myself.
Had I achieved "Vowed Religious" I'd always have a validated position for my ego to resurrect over and over. As it is, I have the failure of that endeavor and numerous other attempts to achieve something. I am left with: sober.
But wait, I just beat out 2 other colleagues for a job I've wanted for 3 years.
I have to be alone to struggle with my inner self; but also, I'll go to an AA meeting where I always get the humility needed to be a tolerable person.
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