I started at the beginning again today; having completed some reading to Ennead 6 already.
Plotinus seems to set up the separation between Soul and everyday worldly consciousness (I call ego): sense perception/ discursive reasoning. Saying that these two things Soul vs Perception cannot be the same things because Soul is eternal and unchanging.
I accept this and know that it is a concept which appears elsewhere, like in A Course in Miracles. The ACIM Text 25.III also notes that perception is a choice. The world we see is the one we want to see because we desire to see guilt.
In my jogging this morning, which took place in the quiet warm moistness of El Lago, I continued to think about the Soul vs ego. A big part of my spiritual seeking is my belief that ego consciousness can be transcended or healed so a person can live as Soul consciousness. It does mean renouncing the world; or changing focus and thinking. I go so far as to say that renouncing the world plus changing focus has been my study and my practice through many years and many theologies. I'm happy with this path. I keep trying to go along it. Remember I said 2014 would be a year of record breaking inner peace? I meant this path of renunciation plus changing focus. I have that potential for 2014.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Lesson 7
Lesson 7 is "I see only the past." Meaning that I have past thoughts associated with everything I see. All meaning for me is formed from past thoughts.
Then I also read this morning from the ACIM Text 25.II.1: "The only value that the past can hold is that you learn it gave you no rewards which you want to keep. For only thus will you be willing to relinquish it." This part of the Text goes so far as to remind me that every "high" point in my life has ended in disappointment.
Related to Plotinus, the point is also made that this world is a cheap illusion and we need to turn towards The Good instead.
I pondered my 55th birthday coming up. I pondered my ongoing struggle with running and racing. I need to let go of some things. Running gives me much meditation. Racing gives me cheap thrills. But my ego desperately wants to grasp some "high." I study many spiritual authors. It seems that ascendance to Divine Providence does entail renunciation of the cheapness of life, paying attention more and more to The Beyond. I am doing that.
And then, I went for my first post surgery run in El Lago in the early morning. I have been running already several times. But I mean I went out the gate of my village and into El Lago before dawn, o'dark o'clock. I was bundled up since it is unheard of cold here on the Gulf coast. But I enjoyed my 26 minutes of jogging.
Then I also read this morning from the ACIM Text 25.II.1: "The only value that the past can hold is that you learn it gave you no rewards which you want to keep. For only thus will you be willing to relinquish it." This part of the Text goes so far as to remind me that every "high" point in my life has ended in disappointment.
Related to Plotinus, the point is also made that this world is a cheap illusion and we need to turn towards The Good instead.
I pondered my 55th birthday coming up. I pondered my ongoing struggle with running and racing. I need to let go of some things. Running gives me much meditation. Racing gives me cheap thrills. But my ego desperately wants to grasp some "high." I study many spiritual authors. It seems that ascendance to Divine Providence does entail renunciation of the cheapness of life, paying attention more and more to The Beyond. I am doing that.
And then, I went for my first post surgery run in El Lago in the early morning. I have been running already several times. But I mean I went out the gate of my village and into El Lago before dawn, o'dark o'clock. I was bundled up since it is unheard of cold here on the Gulf coast. But I enjoyed my 26 minutes of jogging.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Talking Back
Saturday evening. I just finished a workout of more than an hour. I was thinking about how I might have stepped on someone's toes on the internet. As the big book of AA tells me, they retaliate. And we don't always know why.
But, on another track, I see situations like this where I am bothered as a distraction from the spiritual realm towards the world of illusion. Distractions cause me to stop looking towards spirit and start paying attention only to my emotional thoughts. Talking back is a concept from the Desert Fathers (and in particular Evagrius), early Christians who went to the desert to fight demons. I believe the demons were upsetting thoughts. The Desert Fathers used Biblical phrases to talk back to the demons.
I need to talk back to upsetting thoughts. I can use an ACIM lesson like "these thoughts don't mean anything." If I habitually talk back, I will more easily return to the realm of the spirit and happiness.
I have habitual upsetting thoughts. I am sometimes hopelessly distracted by them:
- How I was denied God because I was denied monastic profession.
- How I am stupid because I live like an athlete even though I am slow and old.
- How my life of solitude and spiritual study must be boring and stupid and I should get a life.
- My foot hurts.
This is not a complete list of distractions. these are just the ones frequently on my mind. In a way, these are attack thoughts. Another ACIM lesson that works is to say, "I can escape from the world I see by giving up my attack thoughts." I use my ACIM lessons to talk back to thoughts.
Today, 3.3 months after surgery, I jogged 6.3 miles. It was wonderful. It wasn't fast but it was long enough to become meditative. I got to be outside on a nice day in the Texas winter. Nothing better.
But, on another track, I see situations like this where I am bothered as a distraction from the spiritual realm towards the world of illusion. Distractions cause me to stop looking towards spirit and start paying attention only to my emotional thoughts. Talking back is a concept from the Desert Fathers (and in particular Evagrius), early Christians who went to the desert to fight demons. I believe the demons were upsetting thoughts. The Desert Fathers used Biblical phrases to talk back to the demons.
I need to talk back to upsetting thoughts. I can use an ACIM lesson like "these thoughts don't mean anything." If I habitually talk back, I will more easily return to the realm of the spirit and happiness.
I have habitual upsetting thoughts. I am sometimes hopelessly distracted by them:
- How I was denied God because I was denied monastic profession.
- How I am stupid because I live like an athlete even though I am slow and old.
- How my life of solitude and spiritual study must be boring and stupid and I should get a life.
- My foot hurts.
This is not a complete list of distractions. these are just the ones frequently on my mind. In a way, these are attack thoughts. Another ACIM lesson that works is to say, "I can escape from the world I see by giving up my attack thoughts." I use my ACIM lessons to talk back to thoughts.
Today, 3.3 months after surgery, I jogged 6.3 miles. It was wonderful. It wasn't fast but it was long enough to become meditative. I got to be outside on a nice day in the Texas winter. Nothing better.
Plotinus 6.8.15
6.8.15 seems a real gem to me. It pretty much gives me a reality of One.
Where it says, "Self-presence can hold only in the identity of associated with associating..."; I thought that perhaps my spiritual seeking is a function which comes already from That, not a failure on my part to find God. If I allow that my seeking is That's Self-presence and I am That, then I can be at peace entered consciously into relation with That which I always wanted. The relationship springs automatically into reality.. I know I am not saying anything new, but the way Plotinus explains it, I had a moment of clarity.
Students of A Course in Miracles would recognize the principles of inner peace and real relationship; although the wording is quite different. This means to me that the scribe of ACIM was scribing information which is present in human consciousness and is truth; but it is not new with her. The Self of ACIM (Jesus) has always been so the information is true. The Buddha got this also. Jesus himself got this also. Christianity as it exists today is a corruption of truth.
Then, the whole second paragraph is satisfying. I have the reality explained.
"And when we say that neither does He absorb anything nor anything absorb Him, thus again we are setting Him outside all happening....Suppose we found such a nature in ourselves; we are untouched by all that has gathered round us subjecting us to happening and chance; all that accruement was of the servile and lay exposed to chance: by this new state alone we acquire self-disposal and free act...When we become This alone, what can we say but that we are more than free, more than self-disposing? And who then could link us to chance, hazard, happening, when thus we are become veritable Life, entered into That which contains no alloy but is purely itself?"
Valid or not, I feel I can have this stance toward daily life, as in just being Life. My life is that way. I think this is a creation of my seeking; as in my seeking produced a life with the space and time for spiritual seeking in peace. My relationship of oneness with That produces the time for seeking; and we are seeker and sought at the same time. This is the essence and reason for my being. I don't need emotional evidence today. I just accept and know.
2014 has the potential to be a record breaking year of peace. I have a charge number and a clear task for the year at work. I live in this one place with very little travel. I have all the workout capability I need and am not entered into any races to I don't worry about training. I have a good AA group. I have 650 more pages of Plotinus and a year of ACIM workbook. Beans are easy to cook in the crock pot. Rice is easy to cook on the stove. Spinach is added at the time of eating. All this peace is only good if I want The Good. Otherwise it would be terribly boring and I'd have to go out in the world to get a life.
A year of being not doing!
Where it says, "Self-presence can hold only in the identity of associated with associating..."; I thought that perhaps my spiritual seeking is a function which comes already from That, not a failure on my part to find God. If I allow that my seeking is That's Self-presence and I am That, then I can be at peace entered consciously into relation with That which I always wanted. The relationship springs automatically into reality.. I know I am not saying anything new, but the way Plotinus explains it, I had a moment of clarity.
Students of A Course in Miracles would recognize the principles of inner peace and real relationship; although the wording is quite different. This means to me that the scribe of ACIM was scribing information which is present in human consciousness and is truth; but it is not new with her. The Self of ACIM (Jesus) has always been so the information is true. The Buddha got this also. Jesus himself got this also. Christianity as it exists today is a corruption of truth.
Then, the whole second paragraph is satisfying. I have the reality explained.
"And when we say that neither does He absorb anything nor anything absorb Him, thus again we are setting Him outside all happening....Suppose we found such a nature in ourselves; we are untouched by all that has gathered round us subjecting us to happening and chance; all that accruement was of the servile and lay exposed to chance: by this new state alone we acquire self-disposal and free act...When we become This alone, what can we say but that we are more than free, more than self-disposing? And who then could link us to chance, hazard, happening, when thus we are become veritable Life, entered into That which contains no alloy but is purely itself?"
Valid or not, I feel I can have this stance toward daily life, as in just being Life. My life is that way. I think this is a creation of my seeking; as in my seeking produced a life with the space and time for spiritual seeking in peace. My relationship of oneness with That produces the time for seeking; and we are seeker and sought at the same time. This is the essence and reason for my being. I don't need emotional evidence today. I just accept and know.
2014 has the potential to be a record breaking year of peace. I have a charge number and a clear task for the year at work. I live in this one place with very little travel. I have all the workout capability I need and am not entered into any races to I don't worry about training. I have a good AA group. I have 650 more pages of Plotinus and a year of ACIM workbook. Beans are easy to cook in the crock pot. Rice is easy to cook on the stove. Spinach is added at the time of eating. All this peace is only good if I want The Good. Otherwise it would be terribly boring and I'd have to go out in the world to get a life.
A year of being not doing!
Friday, January 3, 2014
The Father of Lights
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, in Bill's Story, starting around page 13, I piece together a theory of living: "...I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction...I was to sit quietly when in doubt...I must turn in all things to the Father of Light...the moment I fully accepted, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never known. There was utter confidence. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through..."
Lesson 3: I do not understand anything I see.
24.VII: "Perception can serve another goal...It is given me to make another choice."
Plotinus 6.8.14: "...where there is true being, where things have been brought to reality by that Principle...all that reality is brought about in virtue of something emanating from the divine."
And then I stopped to pray silently. What I heard was: allow yourself to be both seeker and sought. It is a mistake to think you are a flawed sinner, hated by God. Any time I sit before the Father of Lights, I feel utter confidence, a great clean wind.
I feel really good today. Included in my morning workout was a one mile/ 11:44 minute Run. And now I am at work and my shoes don't hurt. Awesome.
Lesson 3: I do not understand anything I see.
24.VII: "Perception can serve another goal...It is given me to make another choice."
Plotinus 6.8.14: "...where there is true being, where things have been brought to reality by that Principle...all that reality is brought about in virtue of something emanating from the divine."
And then I stopped to pray silently. What I heard was: allow yourself to be both seeker and sought. It is a mistake to think you are a flawed sinner, hated by God. Any time I sit before the Father of Lights, I feel utter confidence, a great clean wind.
I feel really good today. Included in my morning workout was a one mile/ 11:44 minute Run. And now I am at work and my shoes don't hurt. Awesome.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Lesson 2
ACIM workbook 2: I have given everything I see all the meaning it has for me.
Part 1 of the work book is for undoing the way you see now. Part 2 is for acquiring true perception. This is my 5th time through the work book. Seeing things different is why I work on A Course in Miracles.
Plotinus 6.8.13: "As long as a thing is apart from its good, it seeks outside itself...It may be added that nothing else contains in its essence the principle of its own satisfaction; there will be inner discord: but this hypostasis of The Good must necessarily have self-option, the will towards the self; if it had not, it could not bring satisfaction to the beings whose contentment demands participation in it or imagination of it."
Plotinus is a difficult read; especially since I have no philosophical education. However, almost every day, a little gem crosses my mind. What crossed my mind this morning is that we cannot find what we seek outside ourselves and only participation in the Good will bring satisfaction. We have heard this right? It is not the sole domain of Christianity. In fact one could argue that Christianity adopted much from philosophy; that Truth is true no matter who got it first.
"Not seeking outside myself" is part of my quandary between monastic practices and the world. It is part of my idea of downward mobility, simplicity, becoming as little as possible, no specialness.
Part 1 of the work book is for undoing the way you see now. Part 2 is for acquiring true perception. This is my 5th time through the work book. Seeing things different is why I work on A Course in Miracles.
Plotinus 6.8.13: "As long as a thing is apart from its good, it seeks outside itself...It may be added that nothing else contains in its essence the principle of its own satisfaction; there will be inner discord: but this hypostasis of The Good must necessarily have self-option, the will towards the self; if it had not, it could not bring satisfaction to the beings whose contentment demands participation in it or imagination of it."
Plotinus is a difficult read; especially since I have no philosophical education. However, almost every day, a little gem crosses my mind. What crossed my mind this morning is that we cannot find what we seek outside ourselves and only participation in the Good will bring satisfaction. We have heard this right? It is not the sole domain of Christianity. In fact one could argue that Christianity adopted much from philosophy; that Truth is true no matter who got it first.
"Not seeking outside myself" is part of my quandary between monastic practices and the world. It is part of my idea of downward mobility, simplicity, becoming as little as possible, no specialness.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
The Qs: Quest, Quandary, Quiet, Quotient
1/1/14
Lesson one of A Course in Miracles workbook: Nothing I see means anything.
In the ACIM text I am at 24.VII.6 ; "What is it for?"
I am also studying Plotinus and am in Ennead 6.8.
I have no resolutions for a new year. I have a continuance of whatever I was involved in.
The Quest: yes, I still seek God.
The Quandary: yes, I still feel separate from relationships with others. I don't know anyone with whom I could discuss ACIM or Plotinus (apart from the internet). I don't participate in life; and continue to see society in general as "fallen". So no, I won't join. No I won't feed specialness. I continue to have little in common with others and nothing to discuss.
The Quiet: in solitude, I can find my essence, return to my source and be at peace.
The Quotient: balancing the Quandary with the Quiet.
In my life, the pieces cannot be moved. I can only balance them and seek inner peace. So a lesson like number one above gives me a great deal of joy. Yes, I can let go. Yes, I can look beyond. Beneath the level of my ego, this is wonderful. The trick is to deny the ego and sink into the soul.
Lesson one of A Course in Miracles workbook: Nothing I see means anything.
In the ACIM text I am at 24.VII.6 ; "What is it for?"
I am also studying Plotinus and am in Ennead 6.8.
I have no resolutions for a new year. I have a continuance of whatever I was involved in.
The Quest: yes, I still seek God.
The Quandary: yes, I still feel separate from relationships with others. I don't know anyone with whom I could discuss ACIM or Plotinus (apart from the internet). I don't participate in life; and continue to see society in general as "fallen". So no, I won't join. No I won't feed specialness. I continue to have little in common with others and nothing to discuss.
The Quiet: in solitude, I can find my essence, return to my source and be at peace.
The Quotient: balancing the Quandary with the Quiet.
In my life, the pieces cannot be moved. I can only balance them and seek inner peace. So a lesson like number one above gives me a great deal of joy. Yes, I can let go. Yes, I can look beyond. Beneath the level of my ego, this is wonderful. The trick is to deny the ego and sink into the soul.
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