God is My Employer

Today at 11:10, I got done educating my boss about environmental activities, at least in some superficial manner. He thanked me for helping him. I said, “I am not the sort of person to wave my finger at you and walk out the door.” How incredibly mature I seem to be.

But really, it is because of reliance on God. I am not upset that I am laid off because I believe totally that it is because the Holy Spirit has a new assignment for me. I also believe that work has nothing to do with money. Money and bills are part of the ego world. I am in the service of The Spirit. God is my employer. Now is the time to practice ACIM (A Course in Miracles): forgiveness, miracles and Christ vision. That is my job.

I got in my car and decided to head to Kansas City for a fellowship meeting. As I drove, I felt so pleased: I am totally in the hands of the Universe, of Love. I don’t know where I am going or what I will be doing. I am happy. My little ship is flying free! Yes, my ego will try to get me to obey its thought system and to attack others with resentful thoughts. I have an answer. It comes from Jesus: “The Name of God is my inheritance.”

Really, have you given deep thought to the reality and Fact of God lately? God is saving my bacon. Through learning ACIM, to be a miracle worker, I’m not sitting here all hateful because the world is so unfair and I am such a victim. I take seriously the Fact that God’s inheritance is so incredibly more valuable than money that they are incomparable, not even the same dimension. But, through study, I step into that other dimension, the realm of the Spirit, where money is meaningless and God is all there is; and we know it.

This is not the first time that my life has been completely out of control by me and totally in the hands of the universe. I remember the early morning of the day I got kicked out of the monastery. I sat in my monastic cell with Spirit. I said that I had made these vows to God and I was willing to carry them out whether in the convent or out. It turns out: OUT. I was in such a special zone of God’s care. Later that day when they told me I was leaving, I entered a spiritual reality unlike anything I had been conscious of before. But, looking back and looking at things that have happened since, I believe and agree that I am not in charge. My job is to learn the Holy Spirit’s thought system, to learn to experience the content of Love, no matter what the material world looks like. I am still carrying out my monastic vows as a solitary monk in the world.

My marathon tomorrow is turned over to Spirit. I don’t know if I will run really fast or just comfortably. My 30 day ultra retreat starts Monday.

The Power Greater than Myself

My Course lesson today encouraged me to feel the strength of a Power greater than myself. I need to feel this Power in order to trust it more than my own puny ideas of how to get along in life. I was encouraged to believe that there is Power behind my spiritual work and the power empowers me to continue. There are so many times I could have chosen to forget about spirituality. Who do I think it was that called me to spirituality in the first place? Somehow, I heard a suggestion to start, and some Power has keep the work alive for many years.

I sat in my meditation and looked at the inner light. I look at it but don’t really feel it. I am aware that John of the Cross called this the living flame of love. I am aware of countless Buddhists who speak of enlightenment. Christ is the light of the world and the light which enlightens every man. I am aware of the millions of people who have experienced release from their limited egos and found salvation. I feel the subtle not the explosion. I must admit that the feeling of strength did not come as I gazed at the light. IT made me aware of Itself just a short while later; not during the meditation but after the run.

After my spiritual practice period, I lifted weights and did abdominals and then went for a fabulous 3 mile run (starting at 4:30 am). It was a full moon, very warm. Coming home, I thought I had about 10 minutes to do a few more abdominals and a few more reps with the weights. It was sitting on my weight bench that I thought, “What a privilege it is to be an athlete.” How marvelous that I am lifting weights and feeling so alive. It was then that I realized that the Strength of Light had shown through the heart of my run. It is not that I am so fast or strong but simply that I am. Running through the night, I am a disembodied force, solely an idea of love exposed to breezes and airs, and accompanied by angels. In the physical actions of running and weight lifting, I had discovered the Power greater than myself. It had called me out of lethargy into Its movement. I had joined Its force and hung on to Its strength. It had pulled me into the flow of Its strong Love. Fully immersed it Its stream of Life, I had transcended my body and become an idea of love fully one with Love Itself. Love Itself is Creation. Total realization that Creation is my source and my strength is joining It. This joining with Creation is God’s Will.

I will have a happy life no matter what happens if I hang on to this Power.