I really really want to be an ultra marathoner and go in timed races. But if I think about spending my weekends walking 8 hours or so in order to train my mind, I can't grasp it. But I am so close to using my frequent flyer miles for a 48 hour race, and letting go of any goals.
I also think about improving my spiritual life, conscious contact with Something. I spent decades chasing that white light experience. Now, I accept that it can't be forced. It requires some deeply ego deflating emotional condition, or drugs, or disease delirium, or a brain injury; or produced in an ultra marathon due to extreme physical deficiency.
So I have the spiritual experience of the slow growth, gradual awakening variety. My biggest concern is a head full of resentments, and the ease with which another person can upset my emotional apple cart. A Course in Miracles is directly intended to provide help for this. This week, I'll be using Workbook lessons 271-4 (shown below).
I think that in my life I have made great strides in getting along with people, no matter how I feel inside. But I know that I am not illuminated. I have only had glimpses of that greater consciousness. I continue to do the spiritual work, surrendering each day, praying, meditating, taking my inventory. These practices are providing a good life; and good relationships.
I still yearn for that one great moment; but it is out of my direct control.
Christ’s is the vision I will use today.
1 Each day, each hour, every instant, I am choosing what I want to look upon, the sounds I want to hear, the witnesses to what I want to be the truth for me. Today I choose to look upon what Christ would have me see, to listen to God’s Voice, and seek the witnesses to what is true in God’s creation. In Christ’s sight, the world and God’s creation meet, and as they come together all perception disappears. His kindly sight redeems the world from death, for nothing that He looks on but must live, remembering the Father and the Son; Creator and creation unified.
2 Father, Christ’s vision is the way to You. What He beholds invites Your memory to be restored to me. And this I choose, to be what I would look upon today.
How can illusions satisfy God’s Son?
1 Father, the truth belongs to me. My home is set in Heaven by Your Will and mine. Can dreams content me? Can illusions bring me happiness? What but Your memory can satisfy Your Son? I will accept no less than You have given me. I am surrounded by Your Love, forever still, forever gentle and forever safe. God’s Son must be as You created him.
2 Today we pass illusions by. And if we hear temptation call to us to stay and linger in a dream, we turn aside and ask ourselves if we, the Sons of God, could be content with dreams, when Heaven can be chosen just as easily as hell, and love will happily replace all fear.
The stillness of the peace of God is mine.
1 Perhaps we are now ready for a day of undisturbed tranquillity. If this is not yet feasible, we are content and even more than satisfied to learn how such a day can be achieved. If we give way to a disturbance, let us learn how to dismiss it and return to peace. We need but tell our minds, with certainty, “The stillness of the peace of God is mine,” and nothing can intrude upon the peace that God Himself has given to His Son.
2 Father, Your peace is mine. What need have I to fear that anything can rob me of what You would have me keep? I cannot lose Your gifts to me. And so the peace You gave Your Son is with me still, in quietness and in my own eternal love for You.
Today belongs to Love. Let me not fear.
1 Father, today I would let all things be as You created them, and give Your Son the honour due his sinlessness; the love of brother to his brother and his Friend. Through this I am redeemed. Through this as well the truth will enter where illusions were, light will replace all darkness, and Your Son will know he is as You created him.
2 A special blessing comes to us today, from Him Who is our Father. Give this day to Him, and there will be no fear today, because the day is given unto love.