I had an excellent weekend of miles. I got 10 miles on Friday, 19.x on Saturday and 20.x on Sunday. Sunday was particularly lovely as the weather was nice.
I was running in Meador park and doing jog walk intervals. Nothing fast as I didn't want to beat myself up, just do the miles. I was watching my reactions to others. In particular how I react to dogs and small children. I was able to notice that point at which my reaction arose in me upon seeing a dog. Very interesting to actually see it come, but hold it consciously. The reaction and the hateful thoughts which follow are quite optional. They cause unhappiness for me. But I seem to need to continually reduce them to awareness of when the first arise in order to heal them.
This might be the culmination of decades of spiritual work.
And I took it a step further. I passed two small girls with their father. They were on some type of battery powered sports car. This toy is meant for the back yard. It makes alot of noise and goes very slow. No, dad, you can't have a decent bike ride with a 3 year old on a toy. I felt my hatefulness for their existence in the park.
After that, I saw a mother walking with two children that had battery powered skateboards. I felt the hatefulness again. What is wrong with people that a human powered skate board is not the best? But after I passed them, I kept hearing one of the kids coming up behind me and then stopping. I kept feeling the hate arise. I kept holding it. Finally I see. The little girl does not know I hate her. I am the one that judged the battery powered skateboard. I know the hate is completely optional.
Somehow, this early consciousness of my normal mental reaction brought a certain reduction in its power. I was not powerless over it, or unconscious of the state of hatred in my mind. I was not able to see God or Spirit in the girl. I could however not be miserable in my own thoughts.
I am signed up for a 50 mile ultra-marathon in a few months.