Yesterday, the first full day of my 5 days off, I made it out of bed at 4:45. Then I did some spiritual study. Then, I gathered up my drinks and cooler and hydropak and made it to the Seabrook trails by 6:10. First I did a loop up to Pine Gully park and ran around Pine Gully 3 times before heading back towards the new loop. Pine Gully offers a nice view of Galveston Bay and is worth looking at 3 times.
Then, I did laps around the new loop:
The new loop has alot of trees. I can park fairly close, so carrying my cooler in is not too far. I make the little trip across the bayou every lap because it gives me a few steps of up and down each time.
My goal yesterday was to do walk jog until it was too hot to jog and then keep walking until I ran out of drink. I wanted to feel what it is like to be too tired or hot to jog, but still keep going. After about 4:45 I got there. Looking back at the weather, it was about 95F during that time. I walked until 6 hours, then I was almost out of drink so I left.
It took about 3 hours to get my mind into the now. Then, after another hour, I was able to focus on: This is what I wanted. I wanted to be out there doing laps and feeling however I felt. What this means was not clear until today.
So, yesterday evening, I felt like I had missed something. I thought, one day gone and I haven't achieved whatever vague metaphysical goal I have: enlightenment. Or I hadn't learned anything. Or inspiration had not struck me.
I am not planning on tearing up my body or my toes this multi-day, so I didn't set the alarm last night. Today, Thursday, was supposed to be sunny. I didn't plan on doing many miles. I planned on some walking and cross training.
I got up at 6:30 and had a productive spiritual exercise. It was productive because I seemed to have an ego breakthru. I was thinking about a guy at work along with spiritual teaching from A Course in Miracles. Fear was on my mind. From the bottom of my heart, I asked my ego, "Why do you have to beat that guy?" From this question, I was able to achieve a new level of commitment to a life of living love. That is, Love would only help that guy. I could decide to help that guy. I really felt honest about my ability to move forward as love.
Then I decided to walk in El Lago. After I got out there, I realized I felt good and it was coolish (for Houston I mean). So I did walk jog for 2 hours. There was an unexpected cloud cover that looked like it would hold for a couple more hours. So I went home, gather up some drinks and went to Brummerhop park; instead of cross training.
I was hoping for 2 more hours. I had to take some park water, but I made 2:24. After about 1:45 hours, now 3:45 hours of jogging I realized what for. See, after some period of time in the heat and the jogging, I reach the edge of my personality, the dregs of my ego, the place where the weaving is not. It could be the outer edge, but sometimes it is the inner edge. If I find myself quite easily able to imagine my self as light in a field of light, then I'd say that is the inner edge.
There is no objective productivity evident from reaching the ragged inner edge of my life in this world. But it is a place I like to go. This only works if your are NOT training. If your running is focused on training for a race, then it never transcends objectivity. My running at the moment has no purpose, so it can transcend the ego's world.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring.