If you come to a fork in the road, take it. I didn't make that up, but I like it.
I've been reading a philosopher named Plotinus for 3 months now. He was a student of Plato in around 250 CE.
But my focus is necessarily on my own personal spiritual crisis: how do I connect with a higher power?
In Ennead 2.9.2, P discusses three parts of the Soul. One part standing high, in the presence of Beauty and The Divine Beings. One part concerned with this world. One part in the middle which is tugged higher and lower but never succumbs to the lowest. In this, I am instantly reminded of Freud. I have not studied Freud beyond some idea of ego, super ego and id; not knowing what Freud really meant.
From what is said, I will take in my own words. My soul can dwell in contemplation of the things above it and "establishing order by the marvelous efficacy of it contemplation..." What the soul draws from the contemplation "it communicates to the lower sphere, illuminated and illuminating always."
What I understand from that is the Course in Miracles explanation of "the real world;" or the AA Big Book discussion of "the realm of the spirit;" or even what Jesus said "the kingdom of God is within." And so we know why I sit in silence, a bit withdrawn from the day to day world. It is to feel this soul above. So I want to direct my attention to the thing above, to gaze on the divine. Plotinus allows this to varying extents. To have a life that is spiritually directed, then I would contemplate higher things and allow divine order and illumination to come down of its own accord.
I still think that contemplation and establishing the order of my life from spirit rather than by my own plans and designs is best done with space between me and the general social order.
There is another call in my mentality, to more involvement in the world. If this call came to fruition, I'd need to put greater effort into the contemplation despite the time needed to carry out any other worldly commissions. As of now, my only decision is I want God above all else. And I will gaze up in order to draw down.
This is the pearl of great price. I actually have it. But I still wonder what my daily life should be like. I still need money. I will still get old. I don't think middle class Americans, and I am one, are capable of saying "enough." My dream is of a tiny cabin hermitage; but I don't think my brain would be able to stand it.
My brain won't stop competing unless I take charge of it. Like today, my ACIM Lesson is "I am entitled to miracles." When I need to take charge of my brain, I think my lesson. The lesson reminds me of a spiritual picture of reality which I want.