God is my life; hidden with Christ in God.
I have inklings, glimmers, of knowing this is true. It is not that the world misunderstands me; but that the real I is hidden in God with Christ. I can't grasp myself using a worldly frame of reference. I can only sit in silence and then I understand.
I have died. Not I that lives but Christ liveth in me. (ref: Galatians 2:20)
I wrote the above on Tuesday. It was the first time I really felt the wonderful truth of it.
Now it is Wednesday. During my morning meditation, I couldn't remember the self hate. That is the first time ever I've been neutral. I could easily believe it was Christ living in me. What makes this ok though is my perspective on this information which is separate from The Church, any denominational Christianity or any modern day catechesis of Jesus.
I totally get get the ground level truth without anyone else's bs.