This morning, I was studying chapter 17.IV in A Course in Miracles text. Here is the part that inspired me: "Let Him [Holy Spirit] uncover the spark of beauty in your relationships, and show it to you...It is still up to you to choose to join with truth or with illusion. But remember that to choose one is to let the other go. Which one you choose you will endow you with beauty and reality, because the choice depends on which you value more...the spark of beauty or the veil of ugliness..."
I thought about how I didn't hate my boss this week and how many people texted me on my anniversary. I decided to allow the love that had been present; which is to choose the spark of beauty I had been shown.
After this, did I become insane? Here's my story.
Earlier this week, I got an e-mail about a new 24 hour event in Houston in December. (I went in a 50k there last year). So, I would really like to walk 24 hours. And my new shoe design might allow for a "Kinhin" Zen walk for 24 hours. I'm after the meditation side, not the distance side mind you. I mentioned it to a guy at work. He said he'd be happy to hand me cups of water and drive my butt home. (Transportation could be an issue after being up all night.)
This morning was my usual Saturday struggle to get out of bed. The only reason to get up early is to run before temps rise above 90F. As a walker however, it doesn't really matter. So I slept until 7. Then, I did my spiritual study, prayed about the December 24 hour run. I heard rumbles outside, but I decided to go for a short walk in El Lago and test the shoe.
The first 50 feet out the door, I'm thinking I'll drop down to the half marathon for the Nebraska race in 3 weeks. See, the modified shoe won't work in Nebraska on a hilly dirt course. Depressing.
50 feet later, another thought shot across my mind. Well, you could go to St Louis since you are already entered in that 12 hour run.
I shook my fist at the sky. "G-d dammit, that is the exact opposite thought from what I wanted!"
During the first mile of my walk in El Lago, I saw the faint trace of a rainbow. An omen? Was God speaking? It poured on me twice during the first 2 hours; but since this is Houston in August, it is always at least 80F. If you get wet, no big deal.
I thought about the 12 hour race in St Louis. It makes a ton of sense. Before dreaming of a 24 hour race, why not see how 12 hours go? And the course in Fenton (St Louis) is perfect for my shoe. The driving is about the same as if I went to Nebraska. I already know some people who will be walking in Fenton. No time pressure for a 12 hour time period. It fits the scope of meditative walking (not racing).
So, crap. I think I'll go to Fenton.
Today, I walked 4 hours in my shoe. I came home once to modify it and finally stopped at 4 hours cuz I needed to modify again and I realized that the thicker sock was tearing up one of my little toes. Fang (one of the heel spurs) was quiet today. The only problem was the back of the shoe heel wasn't short enough and kept banging into the bottom of my heel and hurting it (4 hours of that really was enough). So, I have 3 weeks to get the shoe right. I don't even have to decide for sure until that week so I can shift my hotels around. But, I think Fenton will be much better for me.
I'll try again with the shoe tomorrow.