Pre-race Saturday. Weight is 131.9. After 4 days off, the achilles feels good. Today I will run.
This morning, I read this from the Manual for Teachers (14):
“The father of illusions is the belief that they have a purpose; that they serve a need or gratify a want. Perceived as purposeless, they are no longer seen… The world will end when its thought system has been completely reversed… What, then, is the function of the teacher of God in this concluding lesson? He need merely learn how to approach it; to be willing to go in its direction. He need merely trust that, if God’s Voice tells him it is a lesson he can learn, he can learn it… And now sit down in true humility, and realize that all God would have you do you can do.”
Everything in my life is a lesson from A Course in Miracles, a work in spiritual growth, a learning in love and a remembrance of God.
Everything is an exercise in reversing the world’s thought system.
Everything is two sided: denying the ego and remembering I am as God created me.
And so I attempt to go in a running race realizing it is purposeless except insofar as it reduces ego and builds awareness of love. I decide to allow a 50 mile race to be useless, meaningless, and purposeless; except for its learning goal.
I run 27 miles or 6+ hours in training; but I admit that I wouldn’t take the time to go 50 miles by myself. I need the race environment to hold me steady. No matter how low keyed and easy this race is, it is still a race and will serve the purpose. It will provide a venue where I will try to finish. I want to go beyond where I normally would.
My spiritual thought for tomorrow is: “The peace of God envelopes me today. And I forget all things except His love.”
This 50 mile race is a race; but it is also antithetical to racing. Hence it participates in reversing the world’s thought system. People go in races for achievement, moments of glory, awards, recognition, qualification, bragging rights. For me, as I find myself at the back of the pack and alone in the early morning darkness within 30 seconds of the start of the race, I can’t at all worry about beating anyone, winning an age group or achieving a time. All I can do is try to keep going. My goal is the emotional experience that happens after 30 miles. God will be my Companion, Crew and Pacer.
And at the end of the race, the 75 year old comical race director, wearing his Uncle Sam top hat, will give me a piece of plaster board cut into the shape of a turtle. It will have a paper label saying how far I went. I’ll put it around my neck, get in the car and go home.