United Airlines

I really wonder. What is the deal?

I wanted to change a trip I have. I know they have a large fee to change. So I just bought another ticket for what I wanted. I then called them and said, I won't be on that flight. Would you cancel it so someone else can get on it?

Their answer was: oh no. Just don't show up. We'll credit you with the amount of the flight.

Some how this works in their favor beyond me buying another ticket. Are flights all so overbooked? Do they never show a flight as full? What if the flight shows full, but if they took me off, one spot would open up?

I find this to be poor customer service and an activity that only makes us hate United Airlines more than we already do.

Anyway, business travel aside, I am slowly discontinuing trips which require air travel. Except for Southwest, I find all airlines very annoying.

On the other hand, I am highly excited to be me and have 2 out of town races coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Sweat

Today was another memorable sweatfest in Brummerhop Park. I got 16.4 miles of slow jog in between 9 am and 1 pm. My shoes were sopping wet I sweat so much. I drank 70 oz of water. When I came home I didn't feel well.

But you know? I love it. I like being out there sweating. Yes, it is Houston in August. There is a ton more humidity than I ever even thought about when I was in Missouri. But looking back on it, I realize I relish the hours walking or slow jogging in that heat.

I'm not the only one out there either.

Nothing much was on my mind. Well, except my upcoming races in Wyoming and Missouri. But, the 3,100 mile Self Transcendence race is over for another year. My anniversaries are over for another year. What is left if the daily focus: study ACIM, silent thought, exercise, AA on the weekends. But, try not to distract from God too much. Realize this world holds no lasting satisfaction. It is the spiritual reality which I cherish.

Choose the Spark of Beauty

This.

This morning, I was studying chapter 17.IV in A Course in Miracles text. Here is the part that inspired me: "Let Him [Holy Spirit] uncover the spark of beauty in your relationships, and show it to you...It is still up to you to choose to join with truth or with illusion. But remember that to choose one is to let the other go. Which one you choose you will endow you with beauty and reality, because the choice depends on which you value more...the spark of beauty or the veil of ugliness..."

I thought about how I didn't hate my boss this week and how many people texted me on my anniversary. I decided to allow the love that had been present; which is to choose the spark of beauty I had been shown.

After this, did I become insane? Here's my story.

Earlier this week, I got an e-mail about a new 24 hour event in Houston in December. (I went in a 50k there last year). So, I would really like to walk 24 hours. And my new shoe design might allow for a "Kinhin" Zen walk for 24 hours. I'm after the meditation side, not the distance side mind you. I mentioned it to a guy at work. He said he'd be happy to hand me cups of water and drive my butt home. (Transportation could be an issue after being up all night.)

This morning was my usual Saturday struggle to get out of bed. The only reason to get up early is to run before temps rise above 90F. As a walker however, it doesn't really matter. So I slept until 7. Then, I did my spiritual study, prayed about the December 24 hour run. I heard rumbles outside, but I decided to go for a short walk in El Lago and test the shoe.

The first 50 feet out the door, I'm thinking I'll drop down to the half marathon for the Nebraska race in 3 weeks. See, the modified shoe won't work in Nebraska on a hilly dirt course. Depressing.

50 feet later, another thought shot across my mind. Well, you could go to St Louis since you are already entered in that 12 hour run.

I shook my fist at the sky. "G-d dammit, that is the exact opposite thought from what I wanted!"

During the first mile of my walk in El Lago, I saw the faint trace of a rainbow. An omen? Was God speaking? It poured on me twice during the first 2 hours; but since this is Houston in August, it is always at least 80F. If you get wet, no big deal.

I thought about the 12 hour race in St Louis. It makes a ton of sense. Before dreaming of a 24 hour race, why not see how 12 hours go? And the course in Fenton (St Louis) is perfect for my shoe. The driving is about the same as if I went to Nebraska. I already know some people who will be walking in Fenton. No time pressure for a 12 hour time period. It fits the scope of meditative walking (not racing).

So, crap. I think I'll go to Fenton.

Today, I walked 4 hours in my shoe. I came home once to modify it and finally stopped at 4 hours cuz I needed to modify again and I realized that the thicker sock was tearing up one of my little toes. Fang (one of the heel spurs) was quiet today. The only problem was the back of the shoe heel wasn't short enough and kept banging into the bottom of my heel and hurting it (4 hours of that really was enough). So, I have 3 weeks to get the shoe right. I don't even have to decide for sure until that week so I can shift my hotels around. But, I think Fenton will be much better for me.

I'll try again with the shoe tomorrow.

Epic Win

I have a retrocalcaneal heel spur. This means that the back of any shoe pushes my achilles tendon against a sharp line of calcium build up. It hurts.

So, about 2 weeks ago, I got an idea. I've been experimenting with the idea. Today, I proclaimed the idea a winner.

Its not for anyone who wants to run fast, or on trails; but for a jogger like me, it works great.

Here it is: the pain free Haglund's shoe.

Yes, it is missing a portion of heel right where the greatest pain is. But still enough heel that if you want to stick a Dirty Girls gaiter over the opening, you can. But on paved roads, no issue. I wear thick socks and lace up tight. The shoe doesn't come off.

Brummerhop Park

Brummerhop is a very tiny park. But much of it is tree shaded. That is why I spend so much time there in the summer. So, the long jog yesterday went well. Today, I did another 2 hour jog. My heel doesn't feel too bad. Good news. I'm starting to think that the massive pain from last weekend was caused by running on the concrete bridge.

Jogging in Brummerhop could be eternal. That is, if you are there often enough and long enough, you lose track of where you are. Time loses its meaning and you just are.

I came home and again waited for Mr AC to show up. Finally.....he came and the AC is ready for another year.

I think I might go ride my bike around El Lago for afternoon exercise.

Done Deal

Actually, I finally realized the deal was done long ago. I just hadn't fully realized or accepted it.

Today is my 9/80 Friday off. So the first thing that happened is that I slept in. Then, I had a leisurely period of spiritual study. In fact I am in chapter 16.VII of A Course in Miracles text. Here is a little bit of what I read which possibly could be understood by a non-course student.

"Do not underestimate the intensity of the ego’s drive for vengeance on the past. It is completely savage and completely insane. For the ego remembers everything you have done that has offended it, and seeks retribution of you. The fantasies it brings to its chosen relationships in which to act out its hate are fantasies of your destruction. For the ego holds the past against you, and in your escape from the past it sees itself deprived of the vengeance it believes you so justly merit. Yet without your alliance in your own destruction, the ego could not hold you to the past. In the special relationship you are allowing your destruction to be. That this is insane is obvious. But what is less obvious is that the present is useless to you while you pursue the ego’s goal as its ally....Against the ego’s insane notion of salvation the Holy Spirit gently lays the holy instant. We said before that the Holy Spirit must teach through comparisons, and uses opposites to point to truth. The holy instant is the opposite of the ego’s fixed belief in salvation through vengeance for the past. In the holy instant it is understood that the past is gone, and with its passing the drive for vengeance has been uprooted and has disappeared. The stillness and the peace of now enfold you in perfect gentleness. Everything is gone except the truth."

I pondered "destruction" and "hate fantasies" and the "holy instant". I was able to disgorge some nasty thoughts which were quietly playing in my mind and give these to whatever spiritual power there is.

Then I read Uptal's Perfection Journey blog. http://perfectionjourney.org/  I was inspired by the stories of the runners.

Then I loaded up my water bottles and headed to Brummerhop park intending just to walk laps for awhile. Quite quickly I got to my revelation about "Done Deal." I remembered the fateful day near the Jaffa Gate in old Jerusalem. I was 22 or so. I was watching a couple of Hassidic men in fur hats and beards and ear locks walk into the Via Delarosa. I had a tiny thought, "If they are willing to dress like that, there must be something to this God thing."

I was not a meditator at the time, so it is amazing that I noticed that one little thought. Except that I instantly answered yes. In that moment, I became a God seeker and nothing has since been able to knock me off track. So, in the religious sense, it was in that moment that I became married to the God quest. I didn't really need monastic profession to validate the commitment. It is a done deal. I said I do, or I will, and that is that.

It was jogging in super hot, super humid, small and secret Brummerhop park today that I finally realized the truth of my being. Doing laps in Brummerhop park is an existential activity. It is the equal of sitting on a cushion or attending Mass. All is communion.

Nothing needs to be added to anyone to achieve holiness. It is merely a matter of saying yes and accepting conscious contact with a higher power. I said yes long ago and the practice of conscious contact has never abated.

Self Transcendence

So inspiring, the amount of miles completed at the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence Race, which ends in 6 days:

 And here is why my foot hurts (Haglund's deformity):

Today is my Friday and next week is business travel. Almost as soon as I get back, I go to a race in Wyoming where I'll also see a friend.

I am ready to do slow walking in the Houston heat. I actually love doing this. Very meditative.