COVID Close to Home

 I've known about the pandemic for months. I've been a careful mask wearer for months. But I hadn't encountered a person with Covid in real life until this month. It scared the shit out of me and my co-workers.

It turns out that an infected girl in the time frame of being contagious was at work. Where I work we wear masks, but we are not able to social distance from each other. And we touch each others tools and work stations. The girl was at work on a Monday, and experienced symptoms a day after being at work, a Tuesday, and did go to a doctor. Her initial Covid test was negative (taken too soon in the cycle), so the doctor gives her some medicine for symptoms and antibiotics (really? Doctor doesn't know shit). The girl develops a heart condition due to the medication and ends up in the hospital for 2 days. A second Covid test is positive. (Have these doctor heard that Covid affects the heart?) Sad situation for a 23 year old woman. 

This time line so far took 9 or 10 days. So the manager at work doesn't know about the positive Covid test until 10 days after the girl was at work and contagious. At first, the positive test has to be reported to a district manager (time taken). Then the approval was given to send home anyone in direct contact with the sick girl. Well, crap. These other people were at work, not social distancing for 10 days, not knowing anything about the sick girl. (Luckily, no one else got sick. Masks work I guess).

I didn't work with the sick girl, but I did work with everyone else. I heard about the exposure on day 11 when a guy on my shift was sent home. Even then, it wasn't the manager who told me. I heard parts of the story in the form of gossip over a head set.

That afternoon when I left work, I was pissed. I couldn't figure out the time line at that point but I knew it was 10 or 11 days when I finally heard the second hand information. I stayed by myself for 2 days. I was concerned because many of my friends are in their late seventies or eighties. Finally on a Sunday, day 13, I call my manager and ask her to explain the time line details to me. I need to know if I can go around other people safely. She explains what I wrote above.

My next work shift is that Tuesday at 11:30. At about 8 in the morning, I realize I am terrified to go into work. I look at all the pieces of this puzzle. I realize that there is not a chance in hell that our workplace can really be safe. Does a person know if they have contacted the virus? How many days are they contagious before symptoms? How many days until you can get a valid test, and then results? 

Now I've known about some of these facts, but you don't really understand how all these features play out until it happens in front of your eyes. Then you realize that you can't be safe at work. My answer was to quit.

I will also say that this girl turned up at work again on day 16. She still had symptoms. They let her come back because of a negative test. But actually, we don't know for sure that she was not contagious.

My co-workers were hot about this. The manager wasn't there today, so tons of conversation went on. I wasn't the only person to be afraid and angry.

Covid really sucks. It is a squirrelly disease. This time line will happen again because thats how the disease plays itself out. That is why I decided I was done with that work place. (Luckily, I have other options).

Everyone stop and think about the time line. Realize that you will get caught up in this Covid cycle at some point. It is inevitable that you will be exposed at some point. Lets hope you have a mask on and you wash your hands alot. Or you will be sick.

Keep Breathing - 2020

 Last week was focused on my 35th sobriety anniversary. 8/8/85 is my sobriety date.

I love being sober and I cherish my sober adult life. I love the fellowship of AA. It is a spiritual fellowship offering unending spiritual growth and conscious contact with a power greater than myself. Alot of people weren't even born in 1985. It gives people pause when they ask about my shirt and what 1985 means. I got sober in the last century.

I have a friend who makes masks. She made me some coffee masks to go with my job at Starbucks:

Speaking of Starbucks, I finally got my manager to move me to the afternoon shift. Yay! No more getting up at 3 am more than once a week. Actually, Starbucks may have outlived it's usefulness to me. Moving to afternoons may be a temporary measure. Quitting is inevitable as my personal wealth continues to expand and the health insurance game becomes less necessary.

What interests me the most today? Coincidence x 3? Part 1 of this coincidence: COVID is a respiratory disease. One thing I became aware of a few days ago at work was that I was breathing through my mouth more when wearing a mask, especially when stressed during a rush. Don't do it. Keep that mouth closed and force yourself to breath through your nose. Do this consciously. Ensure your respiratory health by breathing through your nose. Part 2 of this coincidence: I started reading a book called "Breath" by James Nestor. Very interesting the health and longevity proposals related to breathing. And then, part 3 of this coincidence: My hero Courtney Dauwalter had to end her attempt at an FKT (fastest known time) of the 500 mile Colorado Trail due to acute bronchitis. She ended up in the ER on low oxygen. Yipes! I cried. Too much dry dusty air through the mouth. 

Something about breathing. Everybody, take a long deep breath in, hold for a beat or two, the long slow breath out. All the way in and all the way out. Just like sex. Don't hold back. Feel better? I do.

Stress Relief

Pretty much everybody nowadays is picking a path of least resistance to relieve their fears of corona virus. Only those who are for sure steeped in well being, or have created a future, or are in alignment with their inner being, are not afraid of the virus. The president of the United States is a man who is afraid. His path of least resistance to deal with his fear is to take a drug with no known effect on corona virus, but since he believes it will help him, the idea will work for him. We get what we believe. We are all doing something which we believe in.

I'm running across Tennessee and working at Starbucks and escaping into fiction. I'm doing my morning meditation, journaling and pre-paving well being for each day. I do all these things regardless of any virus. My activity choices are things I want to do, and would be doing without any corona fears. My choices give me alignment with my inner being and well being for a reality. No just well being but prospering and thriving.

Speaking of thriving. It is May 20. In the past 20 days, I have completed 232.6 miles across Tennessee. Only 389 to go. Here is a course map showing where I was as of yesterday:

Today I had a delightful long run. It was awesome to spend nearly 4 hours in a forest.

This run was an out and back of 16.3 miles. I carried my hydro-pak and used 4 gels. I did NOT get any blisters. Along the way, someone had written encouraging words on the bike path like "You are loved," and "You can do it!" It was cool, like I received a message from my inner being. I have another day off tomorrow, so plenty of time for more miles.

In my post lock down job at Starbucks, I find myself incredibly appreciative and energized. In fact, I've never loved life so much as I do now.

Yesterday I heard Dan Harris interviewed by Terrie Gross on Fresh Air. I learned about Loving Kindness meditation. And so when I go to bed at night, I do the loving kindness meditation until I fall asleep. So wonderful.

Letter 5/9/20

Wow, I had such a great time today. I WENT TO WORK!!!!   And I loved saying hi to all our returning customers. I got to be the person who took orders at the drive through and I could recognize the particular drinks people were ordering, so I would call them by name and welcome them back. It was such fun.

I had another realization as I took my walk this afternoon. It is sort of complicated. But when I left my career, I received a perception of life that I wanted but couldn't put into words. Part of what I wanted was freedom, and that is pretty easy to see. I'm not locked into a chemical plant 5 days a week. Harder to see is related to voluntary downward mobility. My new realization is that I received "life on the edge." Life more on the edge of uncertainty, and that makes it more thrilling for me, more adventurous, more open to creativity and innovation.  I didn't realize until today how much I actually wanted to walk on the edge of civilization, not in the secure salary zone. I want less insulation and more reality. No, three hots and a cot are not guaranteed to me. I live in such a way that other things can happen, and by my choice. Downward mobility has made me richer in a way.

It is not that I gave up safety, but that I transferred my safety to a different source. I actually walk with a higher power instead of a full wallet. I can see this reality actualizing. Some people work hard to move up the ladder towards luxury. My goal has been to move down it. I want to be on the front line.

In other news, I've walked 117 miles of 622 miles in my virtual race across Tennessee:

In the picture, you can see the whole course, green circle and the start and blue circle at the end. I've drawn a black circle showing approximately where I am. Approaching Selmer. This project, virtually walking across Tennessee, actually captures my attention and imagination and energy. Hence, even though I worked on my feet this morning, I still got in 9 miles of walking.

Letter and 100 miles done

What are you doing with your corona-cation? 

I just finished a 100 mile race. I did better than I originally planned, even with some blister issues which hampered days 4 and 5. I had 10 days to finish to get a belt buckle. Mission accomplished.

Day 1, 20.50 miles
Day 2, 22.23 miles
Day 3, 20.12 miles
Day 4, 14.26 miles
Day 5, 15.06 miles
Day 6, 9.26 (really fast) miles to finish.

Its a virtual race, so nothing really matters as far as placement but....  over 400 people signed up to race 100 miles. I came in 84th overall, 31st female, 2nd in over 60 age group.

While at Starbucks this morning, I got a double shot tall latte. This drink fueled my 9 mile run this morning. I haven't run 11 minute miles in several months so I was extremely excited to see myself banging out the miles so happily.

I have had a fabulous 2 days. Really turned the corner on energy somehow. I've been engaged with my projects and not laying in bed reading half the day.

I got groceries early today and got everything on my list including a can of Clorox wipes. I went by Starbucks to get my free pound of coffee which partners get each week. I've been to online meetings at my old home group in Texas for two days in a row. I've worked on my book. I'm reading a very difficult philosophy book (many words I don't know). I got out of bed before the alarm and before 7 am this morning, something that hasn't happened since March 16, my last day of work.

Well being abounds. The people of India can see the Himalayas. I can see beyond the yellow brick road to a new world. Its coming. I love it all.

Just talked to my store manager. I'm scheduled to be back at work May 5. She told me that the Starbucks in Liberty (not the one I went to this morning), is closed because a partner was suspected of having covid. Turned out not to be the case, but Starbucks as a company is sort of having a grand new re-opening of all the stores on May 7. We will be getting $3.00 more per hour, guaranteed an average pay based on what we usually worked, benefits guaranteed no matter how many hours we work. So.... Starbucks is a very decent company. Yes we have to wear masks.