A Course in Miracles is a fascinating text. It challenges my mental status-quo. This morning, I read this:
ACIM Text 29.VIII.8: "What purpose has an idol then? What is it for?
This is the only question that has many answers, each depending on the one of
whom the question has been asked. The world believes in idols. No one comes
unless he worshipped them, and still attempts to seek for one that yet might
offer him a gift reality does not contain. Each worshipper of idols harbours
hope his special deities will give him more than other men possess. It must be
more. It does not really matter more of what; more beauty, more intelligence,
more wealth, or even more affliction and more pain. But more of something is an
idol for. And when one fails another takes its place, with hope of finding more
of something else. Be not deceived by forms the “something” takes. An idol is a
means for getting more. And it is this that is against God’s Will."
Americans are the epitome of "more;" especially "more special." My attempt to stay out of society is not because I don't like people. If you met me in real life, you'd think I was a delightful person. And I am. But I am also attempting to buck current trends in human littleness in favor of human magnificence. Specialness makes us little. However, anyone who goes against the tribe becomes a bit marginalized. And I accept this.
I don't want to live a dissipative life. I want to foster energy and health and spiritual connection. I feel fear when someone doesn't approve of me. For instance not going to lunch with the boss and colleagues. The over eating activity which goes on during these lunches, along with idle chatter, is dissipative. So I don't go. But my ego, which worships the idle of approval (the boss is my special deity) is afraid when I go against the system. I put up with this. Please the special deities is the modern survival tactic. I feel fear when I buck the necessary axx kissing. I can only do this at the level I currently do because I am not afraid of losing my job. I do believe I have been chosen to be laid off in the past because of such misbehavior. I survived. My spirit thrived.
I slept late this morning. Being Texas summer, you might think that screwed my running due to heat and humidity. But well, at 9 am, I loaded up my fuel belt and small cooler and went over to the small park with trees. I got 13.3 miles done in 3h11min. Slow of course, but I jogged in the trees and walked in the sun. When I came home, I washed the car right away since it had become cloudy. The car is black, so washing it in the direct sunlight doesn't work. But, gah! Thats Texas for you. It felt cooler washing the car at 1 pm than it did at 11 am when I was running.
After my shower, I am now eating a bowl of vegetables. I sat down at 2 pm. That is actually 5 hours on my feet.
In the park today, some new people came. One group was 2 couples with 4 small kids between them. The kids all went to the play area. 2 women and 2 men proceeded to complete cross fit activities along with running laps. That worked very well along with the baby sitting. The other group was 6 twenty somethings playing volley ball. No dog walkers. No dog piles (yay!).