Character Passion Life

Sherpa John had these on his blog:

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are." ~John Wooden

"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself." ~Walter Anderson

 Yesterday I was invited to coffee with the big boss, along with several others in my area. The boss said, "If you are not passionate about what you do then get lost. Get out of here." Interestingly frank way of saying that. I know that I am damn good at what I do. I'm the best in the company at facilitating HAZOPs. But am I passionate? I can't say yes because if I had health care, I'd retire. I like what I do and I'm good at it.period. Passion is a modern buzz word for an unrealistic expectation of how you should feel about work.

Then the next question is, am I passionate about anything? I love endorphins. I love finishing races. I love finishing my weight workouts. I love hearing people talk at AA meetings. I love small moments of clarity while I am studying spirituality. I love my Prius.

But my passion for career or spiritual achievement does seem to have been beaten down by years of small results. I mean I had a goal of God. I have steadily gained in inner peace during my years of spiritual work. But I can't say I got the brass ring. Most people think I am passionate about spirituality. I myself feel very subdued about it.

I am not passionate about logistics. But every event of my life has logistics. This ruins almost everything. I spend too much time planning travel routes and means of avoiding crowds or waiting, and not any time enjoying the moment.

I am in perpetual sadness over logistics. My character is determination and steady forward progress. Love is when I sit quietly with no stress. The sweet spot in each day is when I get over the inertia and begin to exercise. Once I get going, it takes about 15 minutes to warm up and feel good. If I was ever to appreciate life itself as a gift, then it is during exercise when I feel good about it all.

If you think by now that I go through life half depressed, you are right. I should take drugs if I want to get a higher happiness quotient. But that is not my plan, so I more or less spend most of my time in survival mode. That might sound sad. I suppose it is. But trying for more is to buy into society's psychobabble about how we should be passionate, translated as happy and energetic, all.the.time.

Happiness occurs when I sit quietly and let the world go. Being happy with quietness is a skill that can be learned and doesn't depend on any outside circumstances of expectations. This happiness with quiet is true connection this the God concept, or Spirit, or what ever you want to call life itself. Life Itself.