Sunday, April 13, 2014

9/80 Weekend

This weekend, I put together 42 miles in about 10 hours. Today was walk day, as in mostly walk only some jog. Yesterday was 5x1 day, as in jog 5 walk 1.

And I bought a new car:


Totally happy with it. Its my second Prius, 4th Toyota. First sexy black car.

It has been a weekend of pondering inner peace. The car purchase was part of it; because it was almost a total non-event as far as life in this world is concerned. I went to the dealership. Jerked around with the sales man back and forth twice. Jerked around with a stack of paperwork. Move my stuff into the new car and go home. Inner peace would mean a not-special life. No dopamine. No highs. No lows. I've been working on inner peace as a spiritual goal. My life does get quieter. But then I ask myself, do I really want this? Well, not ego does. Egos like turmoil and excitement.

Today is the start of Holy Week for the Christians, especially the Roman Catholics. It is a hellish week for monastics. "The Demons" go wild with annoyances. As for myself, I don't really see the point anymore. It has been several years since I finished my bible studies and decided most of it was the domain early Church Bishop's agenda; and that what Jesus said or did has been misinterpreted ever since.

Sitting in my AA meeting this week, I had a revelation. See, I felt guilty that I left my home town at the age of 26 to move halfway across the continent. Got sober and attempted to do step 9 by letter with a raging alcoholic. Didn't work. She kicked me out of her life and then died before I ever saw her again. Yesterday, I for the first time thought, "What if all that was The Spirit's way of sparing me additional pain including a life as a drunk?" What if I was doing the next right thing and how it turned out had nothing to do with me? Then, I should accept The Spirit's gift of a sober life and be happy.

Today I did my miles in Brummerhop park. 41 laps. I thought about self transcendence. My whole ultra career go started and stays on because I hope for self transcendence. Truly, walking laps in a 0.37 miles loop is unglamorous and the only thing to do is repeat the day's spiritual lesson. For hours. I could call it training for the 55 hour race I signed up for. But really, its original purpose was self transcendence. I attempt to think thoughts not from the worldly source. I attempt to quiet my mind and hear spiritually sourced thoughts.

And just keep walking.

And just keep walking.

1 comment:

Ben Keefe said...

I really enjoy reading your blog. I find myself trying to apply some of your insights into my daily routine. "Staying in the center of the roof" was something that I didn't really want. I thought I enjoyed the peaks of emotion, not the valleys so much but I dug the peaks. What is interesting is how over the many days in my program the feeling of neutrality becomes a feeling I want the most.