Sunday, December 25, 2011

Seasons Die

Don't know why this song popped into my head. I haven't been listening to the radio today. But it seems like a good song for me.

Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die,
when all the birds are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
Pretty girls are everywhere.
When you see them I'll be there.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the hills that we climbed
were just seasons out of time.

by Terry Jacks, source:

I have said goodbye to: both parents, UC Davis and the Aggie Running Club, California, Kansas City (twice), Clyde convent, Catholicism, Christianity, enlightenment, raw food, a horse and 2 cats, 3 homes and 5 apartments, 6 cars, at least 4 pairs of running shoes a year, friends too many to count but about 3 which stand out as special. Whatever female body I've had for 52 years is changing into some other female body.

But all of these things are illusions. It is the content under the form that matters: pain hurt anger love joy happiness. And under these emotions which really don't matter either, there is a constant benign spiritual presence, a graciousness. This abstract presence could be what matters. I visit it as often as I can.

In 2011, I moved to Texas, got promoted at work and bought another home. I am sort of without identity here in Texas. Outside of work and the builder and the next door neighbor, I don't know anybody. Nobody knows me, not even the people at work. I have a theology and philosophy of life which I practice. I have many friends in my internet running community. I brought them to Texas. I also brought graciousness.

So far in 2011, I've worked out 973 hours (includes running and other aerobics) and ran 3,162 miles; and I still have another week with several days off. In 2011, I ran 3 ultra-marathons, 2 marathons, 4 half-marathons (with one more tomorrow).

Goodbye 2011.

In 2012, I run a marathon the first week, turn 53 the second week; and get in better shape than I am now for the rest of the year. I'm relying on the Vita-Mix blender for many green smoothies and the Versa Climber for a whole new meaning to aerobics.

My main success is spiritual identification. It is apparent to me that I have a consciousness higher than the ego consciousness and that I am becoming identified with that other level of being. Completion of this transformation is my ultimate success. Graciousness calls me.

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