OK, I acknowledge that I have wanted to know God for 35 years of so. Yes, my ego wants to know God to prove it is better than everyone else. Yes, I hope my spirituality can provide an escape from the world of fear. BUT, underneath the negative pressure there is still the honest desire of pure innocence in me which seeks its creator.
Yes I have a career and a household; and I work-out a lot. But my motivation, my foundation, is "seeking God." The divine presence is the foundation. The spiritual content of daily life, working and running, is what's of interest.
I am a monk-in-the-world and I can't escape this ontology. I am a monk because my attention is always on the spiritual content. This focus makes my life a prayer; and so I am a monk.
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