I guess I'm all caught up on sleep. I woke up at 5 am. Great.... nothing on the schedule. So I read in bed for awhile and finally got up.
I learned something very interesting during my meditation this morning. I've known for some time that when you are not actively engaged in activity, your brain turns itself over to the Default Mode Network. And it is know that this default mode activates during meditation, unless you are an experienced meditater. I'm a crummy meditater even though I have practiced for years. Default mode is a harsh brain activity where thoughts begin to spiral around and bother you. Default mode attacked me today.
This morning, I was doing some spiritual reading and looking out my back window before trying meditation. So I thought I was calm and felt that way. But when I started meditating, I became anxious. Like, I wasn't anxious until I tried to quiet my mind. Then shortage of breath started and worry about something overtook my thoughts (no not worry over sickness but over scheduling an appointment during this shut down). I was conscious of the difficulty I was having. I kept pulling my brain back but the default mode was far more active than normal. It was very vivid. I was so glad when the timer went off.
Not too long after that, I had a phone call, then I went for an 8.8 mile jog. Showered. Got some lunch. Tried meditating again. This time I was very calm. My mind became quiet and no anxiety arose. What happened earlier? I don't know but it was crazy.
Late this afternoon, I walked another 5 miles and spent 30 minutes lifting weights. Worked on editing my book.
A day spent alone.
I miss my Starbucks peeps. Starbucks came out with a free food policy for baristas during this work slow down. They don't want us to go hungry.
No comments:
Post a Comment