Two months ago, I quit my 6 figure engineering job to get a part time job as a barista and pursue a writing project. What idiot does that?
Here is a story about the past few days for me and how I received messages from my spiritual self.
There is a situation I was anticipating; an author sending me some books. But it wasn't happening very fast, so I forgot about it and decided he had forgotten me. Then they came, on a Friday, in the mail. I had quit being annoyed (annoyance is resistance if you are using the law of attraction) that so and so hadn't sent the books and let go; then they appeared. Metaphysics in motion. The art of allowing.
That evening I stood in my kitchen and looked at the package. Somehow it was a profound moment of the universe sending me a message. I felt it. I was holding the package unopened in my hands knowing that some weighty moment would occur related to these books. Not only do the books contain inspiring words for me on my journey, the Universe's message is along the lines of both let go (stop resisting) and don't give up (allow). Let go so the Universe can do it's job. Don't give up on believing the miracle will happen.
Inside the package are two books signed by the author. He had sent them for free. One of them is small and leather bound. Opening the package and looking at the books, I am again reminded of how much work I have to do on achieving my desired writing lifestyle. To be an author, you have to write. And it takes a few years to develop your skill. I can do it, but I have to do it. It is up to me. And I plan to do it with The Law of Attraction, plus many keystrokes as words come into being.
It was a long journey from high paid engineer to creative-writer-in-progress. About 2 years of discernment: what is my spiritual self calling me to? Do I stay in this engineering job, collecting a huge salary, but being bored and frustrated? Or do I follow my creative idea, give my life to it, let my spirit soar? How much financial insecurity can I stand? How can I get health insurance after I leave mother corporation?
I landed with a crash in my new life as a writer. Mother corporation used to take care of everything and now I was on my own. I didn't realize until I got here how much brain time can be devoted to finances until that was all I had. My house in Texas hadn't sold. The stock market had crashed. My house in Missouri needs new coils for the heat pump. I didn't want to live with those worries as my only consciousness. Why was I creating such a downward slope? The question still plagued me: What have I done? What idiot quits such a high paying job to pursue an idea? Was the Universe really speaking to me? I was waking up in the night with cortisol pouring out of my brain into my body over the financial issue. Return to the law of attraction. Rely on Source energy, not the money in this world
The two books went onto the table, unopened, to wait. I had library books on writing which needed to be read first, before their due dates. Saturday night I went to a group celebration. I ended up at a table where I met a lady that also wants to be a writer, only she is about 3 years ahead of me. She immediately started discussing writers groups in this area and some of the other things that writers need to go through. She wanted to get together so I had her put her information into my phone. It was a moment of gift. I had sat at the one table where I would meet someone who could help me on my journey. Intuition? I choose to believe that yes, it was intuition, and intuition is how my spiritual self speaks to me.
Sunday evening, I took one of the books, "Look Ma, Life's Easy; how ordinary people attain extraordinary success and remarkable prosperity" (Ernie Zelinski) into the bathroom and started a little reading. You know, in order to cram one more book into my day, I read on the stool; luckily I am a girl so there is more time sitting there. The story starts out with a person of color who is down and out about how he doesn't have any white privilege and how unfair life is. He meets a rich man who is trying to encourage him but the poor guy will have none of it. Then the poor guy finds a small leather bound book in a bathroom. "Life's Secret Handbook; reminders for adventurous souls who want to make a big difference in this world." It appears to be a very valuable book, left by accident. He looks inside. Inside the front cover is a hand written note:
"To whoever winds up with this handbook: You are privileged to own a copy of only 500 printed; billions on this planet do not own one. It is no accident that this handbook has found its way to you. Your duty is to put it to good use. Open this handbook at random and reflect on the content. Perhaps the words on the page you arrive at will be of life-changing significance to you. Please share what you learn with others. -- Traveling Monk from the Himalayas"
The book is a collection of proverbs. The first proverb, still reading from Look Ma Life's Easy while sitting in the bathroom, says: "Every great accomplishment in the history of humanity started with one small thought. We all have these thoughts. Few people do anything with theirs, however. What do you intend to do with yours?”
Bammo! WTF! I own one of the 500! That is what the other book I haven't looked at is! WTF! Holy crap! Big Magic just hit me in the face!
Me and my idiotic idea that I would quit my job and follow my idea and see that it came to life. A message! I just got a message. Yes, I should do what I am doing. Chills went through my body and I got a euphoric feeling. The law of attraction: I am attracting other like minded ideas.
Sunday night was another sleepless night. The message had not fixed my uncertainty yet, I guess. In the night, I was at least productive by reading Anne Lamott's book "Bird by Bird" which is about how to write. Early in the morning, I had a successful spiritual workshop with the law of attraction before tackling tasks. I had to fill out many online forms for Starbucks (my new employer). I had to do some homework for my tax preparation class. Then I tackled an application for affordable health care. For some reason, I was extremely anxious during the application process with my body shivering uncontrollably. I noticed the emotion and wondered what energy in my system I was touching; metaphysics in motion again. But finally I got through all the questions and got to the Success! screen.
I can't explain why, but in that moment of accomplishing the health care, I suddenly felt like everything was not only true but all right. Somehow, clicking the final button was an act which suddenly opened my mind to knowing: yes, I am on the right path. All that discernment and decision making was not a mistake. Just walk the path. Whatever I need will be provided. My house in Texas is an asset. There are no worries regarding it. It will sell at the exact right time. I feel this huge drive to work on my writing. Ideas abound and I begin to think all the time about new concepts: plot, characters, narrators...
Feeling these positive energies and affirmative intuitive thoughts is huge. It is Big Magic. It is my soul speaking to me, encouraging me. I wanted to make more of my life than sit in a chemical plant and earn money. Something more. Something creative. I was willing to risk everything. Put all my skin in the game. I so appreciate those moments of clarity, gifts from the spirit world. Appreciate these and you'll get more of them.
On another note:
I voted today. I vote at a community college. They must have had a huge geographic area going to that location.Standing in a long line, some of the line out in cold temperatures, you get to see the largely silent population which upholds this country It is the population which has jobs and pays taxes. It is mostly white suburban native born. They mostly live frantic lives of working and family, without much time for making noise. But they will today. They do care about integrity and honor. They wish to see good character in Washington. They want to see government for the people not totally for the corporations. Unfortunately, we are all voting based on incomplete information. Aside from a total anarchist implosion, I don't think we can dislodge politicians who are in it for the money.
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