Across the US (from Santa Monica to the Empire State Building).
Its not my biggest mileage year ever; but one of the best in several years. This goes with 11 full marathons and 4 half marathons finished. I had really good fun at the Miracle Match Marathon in Waco, The Woodlands Marathon, The Irving Marathon, The Fort Worth Marathon and the Houston Running Festival marathon. I wasn't thrilled with The Galveston Marathon, the Seabrook Lucky Trails marathon or The Maryville Marathon.
This year I got to spend 2 nights at the convent where I used to be an inmate.
This year, I was promoted to Subject Matter Expert at work. It was sort of like being named franchise player. Somehow, our work group and 2 very new people and 2 sort of new people and 2 who are experts. Our company was spun off from its parent this year. We have a new completely new name.
This year I: started making all my own bread, all my own peanut butter, grinding my own coffee, making my own beans. So I don't participate in the commercialization of these products. I'm looking for more ways to remove myself from aspects of the grid.
Like, I didn't and won't see Star Wars. I haven't seen a movie in more than 15 years. I don't own a TV. There are many other ways I don't participate in society. I keep hoping this will free my mind to think outside the bell curve of American thinking, and reduce my overall stress since I am not aware of propaganda the media broadcasts. As if broadcasting was a net that didn't catch me.
This year, I celebrated 30 years of sobriety. I am incredibly thankful to have lived a sober life. I think of the decades of misery I've been spared and gratitude fills me.
I realized the truth of why I am single. I think I knew it; but it was too easy to blame men for thinking I'm not very attractive. But this year, 2 guys wanted to get to know me better. The second one was a nice guy I know well and would get along with. But when he asked me out, I was not at all thrilled. I experienced terror. Terror of having someone in my life. I am so not a care taker. I don't relate to being a wife or even a feminine person at all. The result of any relationship is that I decide I can't have that person around and in my way; so I push them out, and that hurts. So I don't get involved at all.
As I explored this terror, I realized that I am married to 2 ideas which leave very little room for another person. One is the idea of metaphysics, which takes a large amount of alone time to study and meditate. The other is the idea of athlete. Not only do I run but I cross train and lift weights and eat only certain things. I really don't want to be continuously adjusting my life and my space for another person.
I look back on 2014 as a horrible emotional year. Menopause was continuing to kick my butt. I look back on 2015 as a successful and fun year. I did well.
Well, am almost 57. My biggest challenge appears to be training new engineers at work. I plan to continue to pursue ultra-marathoning later in the year. In the mean time, between now and April, I'm signed up for 8 races.
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