Emotional Misfit

• Ingenious thinking is not the truth that shall set you free, but you are free of the need to engage in it when you are willing to let it go.
• The prayer for forgiveness (looking beyond the ego world) is a request that you may be able to recognize what you already have.

I don't fit into human groups. Often I'm too smart for them. Often I can't participate in self destructive behavior like overeating, especially the eating of preservatives. I am not interested in superficial conversations. I see movies and TV as "programming" and guard my mind from it. I don't belong to a standard religion. I don't have family activities. I consume very little. I really believe this ego world is a bad dream, an illusion.

I am a person who has allowed emotions which others hide to surface into my conscious mind. This means I am aware of my hatred and fear of others. This means I react less violently than others because I pray about the emotions before hand. Really, emotions and "ingenious thinking" feel the same and perhaps they are. Or, the ingenious thinking is an inner expression of defensiveness coming from fear and hatred.

But, the option of asking Jesus to direct my thinking is very much in the forefront of my consciousness too. I am willing to give up my human thinking in favor of an intuitive thought inspiration or decision.

In this way, I live moment to moment; staying alive in relative peace; not accomplishing anything; putting in the miles of my life's self transcendence race; hoping to arrive in the Hands of my Self.