Friday, May 13, 2016


Positive Mental Attitude.

I had PMA on Wednesday. First time that I can remember for a long time. It was only for 1 day.

I am just now learning how deeply co-dependence has affected my life and how it currently affects my mental outlook. The boss was snarky towards me in an e-mail. Part of my current learning is to realize that his attitude shouldn't govern my feelings about myself. Instead of taking it in stride, I want to kill myself. Yes, I was raised by an alcoholic and a deviant. I came squirting out of childhood with a diagnosis of PTSD. Only now do I really get how this has affected my life.

For instance, in the past, I've gone and got a new job for the smallest level of snarkiness that happened to show up in my boss's e-mail this week.

So, if I need to run marathons and practice fitness in all ways, it is just to stay alive.

I ran my 58th marathon last Saturday.

I finished sooner than 6 other little old ladies and won the Master's division. I was quite surprised to win. Usually, I get an award when I'm the only one in that category. And "Master's" encompassed women 17 years younger than me.

It is summer in Houston. Where I live, it might not go below 75F and extreme humidity until October. Every run is sweaty and not very fast. But this morning, I really enjoyed 6.6 miles in a park. It was just really great.

I am relieved to think that I'm only signed up for marathons for the rest of the year. No ultras.

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