A Family of Answers

I understand gratitude. I don't understand the slaughter of billions of turkeys for gratitude. I don't understand the horrible circumstances in which those turkeys are grown; or the tremendous resources that go into their lives.

And even the poor show up at the kitchen and expect a feast.

There are questions which require a family of answers, not just a short sound bite. And I can't usually explain all the facets of anything all at once since I don't carry all the information in my buffer memory. 

Why are you a vegetarian?
Why do you think the Bible is not true?
Why do you not agree with denominational Christianity or that "Jesus is the son of God?"
Why don't you vote?
Why don't you celebrate holidays?
Why don't you watch TV?
Why don't you fix your hair? (Really?)
Why are you single?
Why don't you develop friendships?
Why don't you drink?
What do you mean by "not participate in society?"
Why do you spend so much time alone?
....the list goes on....

I am in a strange circumstance: success. I had an out-of-the-blue idea which I "sold" to the manager of our plant, who then asked me to sell it to his leadership team. And now, having been adopted, it has gone public in a plant of 800 employees, 1,000 contractors and massive quantities of dangerous substances. The purpose of the idea is employee engagement; which should above all else provide better safety as we work to produce products.

But for me, at this point, it would be usual for me to say something egotistical which over steps my bounds as a low level employee playing with the big boys for once. I end up ashamed of myself though maybe no one else noticed what happened. I want to continue to be guided by Spirit/ intuition/ love; not false ambitions or the getting drive.

The getting drive.
The getting drive.
More for me.
Somebody reward me.
Somebody make me important.
The small self.

Defeat of the small self is a good reason to do endless laps. Such a useless activity, but it draws my mind into endless quiet. Voluntary poverty of ego. Downward mobility of recognition.