You know who you are: quietly successful. So quiet, know one knows you are successful. Those others creating drama of either the positive or negative type are causing your success. You can resent them or be grateful; even as you try not to stab them in the back.
That is my fear at the moment. One colleague cannot learn new things, so I am covering for him and helping him. Another colleague is pregnant and no longer allowed into the plant where we work, so I am covering for her and helping her. All of this competence and reliability I have seems to be swelling my ego something fierce. I can hear it up there preening, thinking of quips and quibs which will quietly undermine these two people.
Several weeks ago, a small lump in my breast lead me to believe I might have cancer. Upon medical investigation, I find: no such luck. Then, last week, a strange situation related to menopause lead me to believe I might need major uterine surgery. Upon medical investigation: no such luck. Why do a use the term "luck"? Because I think medical issues are the way for the ego to enhance its throne. Mine tried valiantly, but lost.
Why do I say "lost"? Because I believe my health is due to my spiritual activities. A Course in Miracles student would know what the text says about health. Course students also know about specialness and littleness; as opposed to looking-beyond and magnificence.
I read blogs by guys who don't believe in God, and those who are Christians and those who are ultrarunners. Despite convincing arguments, I find that I must give credit to unadulterated Spirit for my joy.
If I wasn't seeking un-specialness, I suppose I'd let my ego propagandize its way to the top. Instead I do the work and stay away from important people as much as possible. I have a "real relationship" which I want alot more than specialness. So, things that are defined as winning in this world are things I don't seek. I let the Spirit lead the way. If something seems unfair, it is the ego's point of view, not the Spirit's point of view. I find peace if I seek the Spirit's point of view. The Spirit's point of view is call Christ Vision in the ACIM text.
The Holy Spirit's vision is no idle gift. Love based thinking is what I really want.
Today I spent 5 hours jog/walking. I'm about to go spend an hour walking uphill on my treadmill. I'll do it again tomorrow. I have a 4 day weekend next weekend, I'll spend as much time as I mentally can walking.
Haha, then this unspecial person is off to Germany to give a presentation. Sucks eh?