Today is lesson 125 in A Course in Miracles. I read this: "...you have a special purpose for today; in quiet to receive the Word of God."
I felt it settle in and I believed. It also explains the solitude in which I live.
Then I started my exercise. First, 10 min on the Versa Climber. Then a fantastic 31 min run outside. I was going faster than I have for several months with no twinges in any part of my legs.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Monday, September 28, 2015
Lesson 124
"Today...We can fail in nothing. Everything we touch takes on a shining light."
I prepare to sally forth into the melay of work. I read that quote and my mind was inspired. I felt it. Let the rain come down.
Stop and listen. I just realized that I need humility today; be a servant. Sudden gratitude. On my inner knees I ask, "How may I best serve You. Thy will not mine be done."
I prepare to sally forth into the melay of work. I read that quote and my mind was inspired. I felt it. Let the rain come down.
Stop and listen. I just realized that I need humility today; be a servant. Sudden gratitude. On my inner knees I ask, "How may I best serve You. Thy will not mine be done."
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Gratitude
The Course in Miracles lesson today talked about giving God a day of gratitude. And, the lesson helpfully listed a number of non-material things I should be grateful for. This lesson got mixed in with some other reading from Brunton on Grace.
I thought about gratitude during the next 4.5 hours of my 20 mile run.
Most people are grateful for material world things. Like, dear God, I'm so happy I'm a first world person so I have plenty of food, a house and relative safety. Or, thank you God for my healthy children. I also am happy I live in the first world; but I don't think that is God. I refuse to think God makes some people live in terrible circumstances.
I don't know if I should thank God for my spiritual life. I'm not able to point to any evidence that God did anything. I can only assume that certain intuitive thoughts are truly Spirit. That is how I choose to believe, but I can't prove that to anyone.
God or no God, the one thing I am totally and from the bottom of my heart and in every cell of my being grateful for is Sobriety. I love love love that I have had a sober adult life, 30 years.
Anyway, my ego is ignorant of Grace. My spirit is silent. I believe Love is the predominant mode of existence.
This week, only 14.9 hours of workout and 56+ miles due to 2 days off for a cold.
I thought about gratitude during the next 4.5 hours of my 20 mile run.
Most people are grateful for material world things. Like, dear God, I'm so happy I'm a first world person so I have plenty of food, a house and relative safety. Or, thank you God for my healthy children. I also am happy I live in the first world; but I don't think that is God. I refuse to think God makes some people live in terrible circumstances.
I don't know if I should thank God for my spiritual life. I'm not able to point to any evidence that God did anything. I can only assume that certain intuitive thoughts are truly Spirit. That is how I choose to believe, but I can't prove that to anyone.
God or no God, the one thing I am totally and from the bottom of my heart and in every cell of my being grateful for is Sobriety. I love love love that I have had a sober adult life, 30 years.
Anyway, my ego is ignorant of Grace. My spirit is silent. I believe Love is the predominant mode of existence.
This week, only 14.9 hours of workout and 56+ miles due to 2 days off for a cold.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
My Soul
This morning at the end of my spiritual study, sitting on the can, I thought, "My soul, you are a lovely soul."
This might be the first time I've had that thought. It was a genuine return of love to the higher from the lower. Then I went for a run. During the run, I thought, "Maybe that was my higher consciousness speaking to me." Maybe it works both ways. For once, I realize I might not be pissed off at my soul for making me a human. Maybe for once, I am ready to accept the love of the higher consciousness.
My run this morning was good. My cold has subsided and the coughing is less. I haven't mentioned what else. On Tuesday at work, I was walking down a hallway when I felt a sudden pain in my right groin. Serious stabbing pain. Then, it was intermittent the rest of the day and the next day. Thursday, I wore an elastic around my upper thigh and that prevented the pain. Yesterday and today, I ran with the thigh wrapped and haven't felt the pain. So, I somehow pulled my groin while walking. Weird.
Just when I want to ramp up the training for a 24 hour race, I get a cold and a groin pull. I want to go outside for a walk even now, but it is still hot here on the Gulf Coast. Maybe I will anyway.
I had another revelation yesterday. I have worked with a certain boss now for 4 years. I now act like myself around him. That is a miracle. I have spent my life acting the way I thought other people want me to act because I don't want to step on their toes. I now am natural with this person. That is a great gift.
Yes! I just walked 10 miles.
This might be the first time I've had that thought. It was a genuine return of love to the higher from the lower. Then I went for a run. During the run, I thought, "Maybe that was my higher consciousness speaking to me." Maybe it works both ways. For once, I realize I might not be pissed off at my soul for making me a human. Maybe for once, I am ready to accept the love of the higher consciousness.
My run this morning was good. My cold has subsided and the coughing is less. I haven't mentioned what else. On Tuesday at work, I was walking down a hallway when I felt a sudden pain in my right groin. Serious stabbing pain. Then, it was intermittent the rest of the day and the next day. Thursday, I wore an elastic around my upper thigh and that prevented the pain. Yesterday and today, I ran with the thigh wrapped and haven't felt the pain. So, I somehow pulled my groin while walking. Weird.
Just when I want to ramp up the training for a 24 hour race, I get a cold and a groin pull. I want to go outside for a walk even now, but it is still hot here on the Gulf Coast. Maybe I will anyway.
I had another revelation yesterday. I have worked with a certain boss now for 4 years. I now act like myself around him. That is a miracle. I have spent my life acting the way I thought other people want me to act because I don't want to step on their toes. I now am natural with this person. That is a great gift.
Yes! I just walked 10 miles.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Spiritual Dream
This morning, I am taking my time. It is work from home Friday; but also, I am recovering from a cold. I don't expect much today except coughing. Well, an easy jog to loosen things up also.
Brunton was discussing dream states. It occurred to me that my life is about two dreams: ego's dream and spiritual dream.
My ego wants greatness, enough money do live independent, respect of others.
My spirit wants conscious contact with God. At times, the ego has tried to steal my spiritual dream. But the ego has utterly failed at that. But daily, I feed myself with spiritual reading and meditation and reflection. The spiritual dream does go on. It may not have so much tangible results in this world. I again know that I intend to pursue it.
Brunton was discussing dream states. It occurred to me that my life is about two dreams: ego's dream and spiritual dream.
My ego wants greatness, enough money do live independent, respect of others.
My spirit wants conscious contact with God. At times, the ego has tried to steal my spiritual dream. But the ego has utterly failed at that. But daily, I feed myself with spiritual reading and meditation and reflection. The spiritual dream does go on. It may not have so much tangible results in this world. I again know that I intend to pursue it.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
It's Okay
Reading Brunton again today. Sitting here with a cold and trying to decide if I should go to work. I find that I almost know why I came to this body, this life.
I've been interested in higher consciousness the whole time. This life gives me time for pondering but also forces me to engage in the world. In the monastery I would have had to stick with Catholicism. Here in society, I have access to many ideas. As an engineer, I can build the ideas into anything.
Today's ACIM lesson is: I rest in God. I could feel the silent reality when I thought this thought.
Why do I entitle this blog, "It's Okay?" Because I am for once OK with being a civilian. Not a monk or a famous enlightened guru. Contemplative engineer is okay. Wow! Breakthrough!
I've been interested in higher consciousness the whole time. This life gives me time for pondering but also forces me to engage in the world. In the monastery I would have had to stick with Catholicism. Here in society, I have access to many ideas. As an engineer, I can build the ideas into anything.
Today's ACIM lesson is: I rest in God. I could feel the silent reality when I thought this thought.
Why do I entitle this blog, "It's Okay?" Because I am for once OK with being a civilian. Not a monk or a famous enlightened guru. Contemplative engineer is okay. Wow! Breakthrough!
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Brunson - V13.Part 1.2.27
This morning, I was reading from a notebook of Paul Brunton.
"The way out of the to and fro wanderings of his moods, to spirit and away from it, is to accept the double nature of his being .... Then struggles cease and harmony prevail. There is no warlike confrontation within himself but peaceful reconciliation."
This helps me understand my shifts between violent ego emotions and calm spiritual outlook.
Yesterday was an emotional day at work as I felt overwhelmed with too much to do and also got a sore throat. How spiritual is that? We all assume then that we have failed at spirituality. Not so. Accept the ego's travails and peace appears. I just did it and it happened.
The double nature of my being is both spiritual and ego.
I had an excellent work out day yesterday. 48 minutes of machines in the morning and 45 minutes of treadmill in the afternoon.
"The way out of the to and fro wanderings of his moods, to spirit and away from it, is to accept the double nature of his being .... Then struggles cease and harmony prevail. There is no warlike confrontation within himself but peaceful reconciliation."
This helps me understand my shifts between violent ego emotions and calm spiritual outlook.
Yesterday was an emotional day at work as I felt overwhelmed with too much to do and also got a sore throat. How spiritual is that? We all assume then that we have failed at spirituality. Not so. Accept the ego's travails and peace appears. I just did it and it happened.
The double nature of my being is both spiritual and ego.
I had an excellent work out day yesterday. 48 minutes of machines in the morning and 45 minutes of treadmill in the afternoon.
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