Forest Walk

60th Birthday - Snow

I got up at 4 for some spiritual reading and writing.

Then I shoveled the driveway.

Then I went to work at 8:30. The shift manager had made me home made cup cakes (carrot); and everyone said happy birthday. I divulged the fact that I am 60. No one had any idea.

After work, I came home and rested and read a bit. Then 3 miles on the treadmill looking out the window at the scene above. It really is very pretty.

A friend sent me a link to a reddit discussion on FIRE Barista; why would anyone leave a 6 figure job and go to work as a barista. Ha! I'm happy. Also, I want to be a writer but am not ready to sit alone in my house all day every day and write. I mean, who would give me cup cakes for my birthday?

The Difference

There is a difference between real life and romanticized life. I am only now realizing that all books I've read romanticize life. YouTube romanticizes life. I am living real life.

It is the eve of my 60th birthday. Who ever thought a person could be 60? I remember when I was 39 and wondered if it was okay for 39 year old ladies to climb rocks in Death Valley. Well, now I am 60 and still doing what I think 60 years olds shouldn't be able to do.

I got up at 4 and did my writing and meditation. This was followed by 30 minutes of rowing. Then I got cleaned up and went to work. Starbucks got slammed today. So, I not only did alot of lifting but tons of running around: 3.5 miles inside the store. Lifting? Yeah, buckets of ice, gallons of milk (4 at a time), buckets of cold brew (14 liters), coffee urns, trash bags that weight 20 pounds, getting boxes down off the top shelf, etc. To be honest, I am proud that a 60 year old can do this job.

Then, to the grocery store (like everyone else in KC) because a snow store is coming. Get gasoline. Come home to rest a bit and read. Do some of my own writing. Get on the elliptical for 35 minutes and then 25 minutes of weight lifting and core. Then a bowl of vegetables, rice and beans; topped off with a Vega shake.

Yep, pretty proud of my physical self. What is more important is how I feel on the inside. I am happy on the inside; mainly because Abraham Hicks taught me how to feel happy regardless of what is going on in the material world. See most people think only a loser would work at Starbucks. And why quit a 6 figure engineering job and go work at Starbucks?  Well, it is only a part time job, so I get to see sunshine and walk/run in the park in the sun very regularly. I run alot, and better now than when I lived in Texas; mostly because I am not suffering from heat related illness half the time. And they have hills here. I love hills.

Starbucks is a spiritual tool. With the challenges of the job, I practice happiness. Don't think that washing dishes and shoveling ice is a glamour job. Its not. Taking out the garbage can be very nasty yucky. Strangely, some part of my energy system relishes this job. I get energy in some way, even though I get exhausted in another way. I wonder if sitting in an office doing engineering is somehow bad for the soul; and that is why having a physical job is energizing. It is a luxury to be able to afford to work at a menial job.

What am I like at 60? Pretty proud. Also, appreciative of not only my life, but life itself. Life.period is a 60 year old woman lifting weights even though she did all that lifting at Starbucks. Life.period is spending time in contemplation and writing; a relationship with the inner depths. Life.period is spending the afternoon watching it snow.

At 60, I must still be pretty smart and well respected. The district manager for H&R Block picked me as one of only 5 first year associates to be eligible for a plus status. That is, I had to test up to become eligible for a bonus. I passed the test yesterday.

I have 33 years of sobriety and I am still active, as well as loving, AA. I love being in a fellowship with new people, as well as people I've known for 33 years. Being sober is the thing I am most grateful for in this life. Having a sober adult life is such a blessing. I came back to KC to be with these long time friends; heck, I even have a god mother here. I have sisters; monastic sisters that is. They say they are my family and they invite me home for the holidays.

Here is a picture of me and my sister at Christmas:

I am creative and learning to be a writer. Yes, I have 2 writing projects which I continually plug away at. I find that reading my writing is pretty fascinating.

I have downsized. The Honda van is gone; replaced with a Civic. The townhouse is smaller than what I had in Texas; but it does have a brand new heat pump system.

I have always planned to work in retirement. Retirement only meant I ditched my career so I could do what I want. I am more active, far busier and more social. My engineering job was somehow exhausting. 

So, eat healthy, exercise alot, get outside. Continuously seek Spirit: she is with you always. Amen!

Still-life with Flowered Cup

I've been trying to live beyond the material world. That is, I want to more deeply experience the feelings of life; not so focused on material things. Let me try to say that again: Before any experience, there was the thoughts and feelings which created a point of attraction. Then, something happens in the material world. Stop looking at what is, is what Abraham would say. Specifically, I am trying to remember unconditional gratitude. That is feeling grateful just for my being, not for any material world things. I want to feel unconditional gratitude and then see what the law of attraction brings.

You see that this is a backward approach, right? Most people list things they are grateful for. I want to list feelings of gratitude, joy appreciation, satisfaction; and then see what the things are. For this exercise, my job at Starbucks is perfect. You never know what will be going on in any day or how you will feel about it. It would be normal for me to spend all day pissed off because I am the lowest of the crew and get stuck with the most menial of positions. But truly, I don't want to live my life like that. I chose that job. My working is purposeful. At the moment, I'm using the job as a tool to access my inner being, or higher consciousness if you will. I really really want to know my higher self and have been engaged in the process of knowing for right on 30 years or more.

So yesterday, I was focused on unconditional gratitude as the shift manager ragged on me all day about do this and do that. I could have felt sorry for myself and hated her. A victory is that I didn't feel bad about myself for all that negative attention. I just kept completing each task and doing the job her way. I kept remembering UNCONDITIONAL. I want to feel gratitude unconditionally. I want to feel gratitude even though this shift manager is ragging on me. Unconditional.

Towards the end of the shift, I noticed a box of merchandise which wouldn't go out to the public until Tuesday. In the box was a very pretty travel cup (see above). I HAD to have that cup. So pretty! I found out that it would ring up for me, I got my 30% discount, used a gift card to pay, got enough stars for a free reward drink.

I came home and made coffee for my new travel mug. I felt unbounded joy; like somehow, all that gratitude had made a point of attraction for this pretty cup to enter my life. No really. It was a joy to realize that the cup reflected a gift from my inner being; and feel like my inner being loves me. And I felt that much "bigger" situations could be handled in exactly the same way. Feeling unbounded joy was the point, because it brought awareness of conscious creation, alignment with Source, the true feeling of my higher self for me.

After my shift, I got off at 11 am, I rested a bit and went to the park to run. It was a warm sunny day, in January no less. Before going to the park, I had a thought, "Maybe I'll see X at the park." Then as I pulled into the park, I saw X right in front of where I was parking. Good timing! Another example of conscious creation: the thoughts and feelings came before the reality. I did that!

I am learning that life is more about playing than serious survival needs. I want to be alive in this life; not just hope it ends soon. Really, my life has not really been consciously fun. Mostly, I've been trying to survive; not happy on the inside at all. Now that I know that happiness is my choice, I've been making that choice. I'd rather feel unconditionally happy; and I can if I deliberately do it. that is the key: deliberately.